stultum somnia
by Mileytheotaku
Summary: -foolish dreams- In which a random girl wakes up as an Uchiha, tries to appease to the gods and fix everything. Until she finds out she can't, so instead raises a minion army, graduates the academy, accidentally insults the Hokage to his face, purposefully insults the clan leaders to their faces, while eagerly awaiting a death that may not come.-Inspired by Dragonfly by peccolia.
1. Simplex

**Greetings mortals! I know I said in my bio that I was still working on my first story but this would not leave me alone. Like seriously I was up every night thinking of scenes and chapters for this sucker until 1 a.m. before I just caved.**

**Stultum somnia was largely inspired by Dragonfly by peccolia and some various other fanfics with the same plot premises, but with my own twist of course.**

**stultum somnia was originally going to be a one-shot but I've decided to split it between several chapter. Somewhere between the 3-10 range.**

**Updates will be infrequent but I'll try to finish it before the new year.**

**Only warning is that Hatsuki is a bit random so her thought process tends to bounce around. Oh and language.**

**I don't own Naruto, if I did Shisui would still be alive.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**(Edit: I accidentally uploaded the wrong file)**

* * *

So I died.

Yeah I've bet you heard that on before-or rather read before. It'd be a bit weird for someone to tell you they've died before. Although I guess with what happened to me it isn't too weird.

You're probably wondering how I died. What's this ones story? How did she die? Who did she leave behind? What character will she end up married to, prance into the sunset while holding hands, and make sweet beautiful babies with?

Well deal with it because you'll never find out how I kicked the bucket, I didn't really have anyone I left behind, and I don't really want to 'end up' with someone. I mean don't get me wrong, I'd totally bang some of characters, but not really into the whole marriage and happily ever after bit. Too cliche for me. Besides the only thing that matters right now is where I am, I mean that's why you clicked on this after all. Because you want to know when and where I am before you like or follow or whatever. Well I'm assuming you clicked, because apparently my new life is some bastard's shitty fanfiction. At least that's where I'm betting. I just certainly hope it's not one of the ones I wrote, there's no way I'd survive past that much lemon. But to be fair I don't think I'm very likely to survive this one.

Why?

Well unlike most protagonists thrust into this situation, I knew immediately after I was born where I was. And hey, if I want to be optimistic and least it wasn't bloody fuckin' Kiri? You're probably wondering how and getting slightly annoyed by the fact that it's taken this long to get to the plot_._ Don't worry I'm getting to it. Well you see, after going through the horrifying thing that is childbirth, I was being manhandled like a fucking doll and lifted to eye level. And despite what others may say about baby eyesight being all fuzzy, I could clearly make out the spinning sharingan.

* * *

_Hatsuki 3 years old_

**Date: July 27th : ****Time: 12:00 : Place:Where do you fucking think?**

It's been three years since my new life started, and I still don't know 'when' I am. I blame my parents for not being social, but I haven't been very eager or active to find out. Unfortunately (or fortunately) it seems my new parents don't have any interaction the head family. It's is kind of a shame really, I was hoping to drool on Fugaku, if he's even alive now. My parents have never mentioned a cousin named Obito or Shisui, so that rules put another way of finding and a plot device.

I wonder if this is a gods cruel joke actually, instead of some cosmic fuckup. I've never had terrible luck before, but maybe I just never noticed. Hmm now that I'm thinking about it I probably pissed off a number of gods, possibly all of them. I guess instead of dealing with my dead soul they decided to sadistically stick it inside of some world of a fanfiction writer for shits and giggles. I hope to whatever gods that it wasn't one of mine.

Or maybe they created this world for me in which case I'm oddly flattered. Ha I was such a pain in the gods' asses that they made me my own personal hell. That'd make an awesome story for family reunions. Of course no one would actually believe me, but it'd still be cool.

Maybe this was one of the ones where it turns out that The Sage of however-many-fucking-paths decided to pick a random ass fan to save his precious Indra and Asura. One that coincidentally skipped through most of the episodes in the first part, quit watching less half way through shippuden, and just read what happened next various fandom pages and fanfictions, before ultimately abandoning it to spend more time on something more productive. Like re-watching Supernatural, or actually attempting to pass college for the 3rd time. Wow maybe my priorities really are outta wack. Huh, well I guess it would actually be a hell being reborn in Supernatural.

Well whatever the reason, I promised said gods that I would be a good Mary Sue and try and stop the massacre. And to fix the plot as much as I can, without accidentally killing myself or important characters in the process. It wouldn't be very nice to just do nothing and anger said gods. I might actually end up in Supernatural or someplace worse in my next life. Which is why I was writing down all the stuff I remember in an a notebook my mother got me a couple days ago.

"Hatsuki-Chan time for lunch" my said mother called from the kitchen, interrupting my very important backstory. I looked down at my English journal and sighed. Eh well I guess that's going to have to do for now. I had actually made it to the beginning of the actual storyline known as Naruto. Wrote all of the prequel stuff I could remember, which was very little, starting at Hago-whatever his name was and Hamura fighting their princess alien mother all the way down to Ren getting a chidori to the chest.

Wait does that mean I'm part alien because I have chakra? Oh yeah I kinda forgot I had chakra now. Wasn't I supposed to be a sensor or some shit like that? Because I was reborn? I looked down at my poor tiny little fingers were beginning to cramp and wondered if I should try the leaf thingy to make sure my chakra actually worked. I did not want to be a Lee.

"Hatsuki-chan?" my mother's voice questioned as she walked down the hall. She was young, younger than me when I died, and always working. I briefly wondered why she was only thinking just now to check up on her only child. I hadn't seen her since this morning, after she told me she had paperwork to do a few minutes after breakfast. I was no mother, but after taking care of multiple younger siblings I know how close you have to watch and care kids. I didn't act completely childish, but even if they had a mature-ish kid I still figured that the new parents would be more hovering. Maybe everyone here was a shitty parent? Now that I'm thinking about it I can't remember one good parent in Naruto. Huh.

My new parents were always working. My father is an MP, constantly away on patrols or office work, and my mother does paperwork for them at the house. I think it finances or something, but I couldn't really make it out. I've been to lazy to actually learn Kanji, just sticking to Hiragana and Katakana.

I look up as my mother opens up the door to my room. She blinks and then blinks again as she takes in the scene that is before her. I am on my bed, obi as loose as possible without my kimono completely falling off, writing in a notebook with a purple marker. This is no different than usual, but I guess the rest of my room has her baffled. All of my stuffed animals are in a complete circle around a symbol, drawn in red marker, on the floor. I don't think she recognized the circle with a triangle in the inside. I wonder what would happen if she did. In the middle said symbol was a purple snake plushy, its stuffing spread out randomly around the room.

As she stares she realizes the snake was cut down the stomach, obviously by something sharp, and as her eyes snap back to me as I attempt to sneakily push the kunai under my pillow.

"Hatsuki!" she said dragging out my name, he warning clear in her voice. Interesting, she's never actually gotten mad at me before. Annoyed and disappointed, yes but never actually mad. Not even when I cut that loud-mouthed brats hair. I watched her as she walked over to me and held out her hand expectantly.

"What Kaa-san?" I adorably tilted my head, widened my eyes slightly, opened mouth into an o shape and-aha! I have gotten the perfect naive look. Achieve it and you can pretty much get away with anything. I wonder if I could get away with the murder of a certain clan head and elders.

She visibly softened and sighed, "Give me the kunai, you're to young to be playing with it. If you ask your Tou-chan tonight I'm sure he'll let you have a blunt one to play and practice with." Frowning she admonished "Now what is this mess you created? Why did you specifically ask me for a purple snake if you were just going to tear it up? I'm not going to get you nice things if you're not going to take care of them. What were you thinking?"

I made my face as solemn as I could and said earnestly "I was trying to appease the gods and thought I should start with Jashin-sama." I left out the part where I was supposed to sacrifice an actual person. And why I was trying to appease said god in the first place. But hopefully Jashin got the idea. I mean if I was in the Naruto-verse may as well start with the most prominent god in the series.

She stood there for a full minute before muttering something along the lines of crazy hyperactive child imagination.

"Well clean it up, and you better hope that red marker comes out of the floor. This was my room when I was your age, and I took care of it. I expect you to do the same." She walked out of the room before immediately turning back around. She held out her hand and cleared her throat.

"What?" Tilted head and wide eyes-check.

"The kunai." And I swear I saw a flash of red in her eyes.

"Oh yah, here you go" I chuckled sheepishly and gave it to her. I wasn't going to test her patience anymore, I do have a survival instinct. Despite he-erh-others may have said. As she turned and walked out the door with my favorite kunai, it was the sharpest, I realized she never mentioned what was for lunch. Guess it's a surprise then. Go-er Man, I hope she doesn't count the rest of the kunai just make sure more aren't missing. I've got like 20 of those suckers hidden in my room. Yanno just in case I get kidnapped with Hinata or some shit like that.

Although realistically I know there's not much I can do against a trained killer, but it eases my mind.

Holy fuck, I'm more paranoid than him.

Ignoring the pain in my chest I quickly throw my stuffed animals onto my bed -sans Mandi- and cover the red symbol with my rug. My mother has a tiny attention span and forgets stuff easily, so it'll at least be a couple of weeks before she remembers it. I quickly say a quick prayer to Jashin and apologize for my heathen mom before stuffing Mandi into a cardboard box and pushing him under my bed. I actually did really liked that purple snake. I wonder where she found it. I merrily skipped out of my room, down the hall, past the living room, before ending up in the dining room. The table was already set with-

"JELLY FILLED DONUTS!" I screeched, scaring the living shit out of my mother. I cackled internally at her reaction. Until she turned around and her sharingan spun wildly as she looked around for danger or whatever caused me to scream.

Yeah I probably shouldn't have said that in English. Or screamed it.

Another sigh. That's like 3 so far today.

"Hatsuki, don't scream like that you scared me. I thought you were in trouble or something was wrong-"

_Wait wouldn't me being in trouble be wrong? Huh I wonder what's for dinner tonight. I hope it's that grilled chicken dish she made the other day. _I thought, not completely and totally spacing out.

"-so I'll be taking you to the park tomorrow. My friend Machiko has a daughter your age, you'll be good friends" she finished before walking over to take her seat.

I snorted, sitting down on the opposite side of her at the table. That kinda sounds like I didn't have a choice...

-processing what the fuck she actually said-

Oh hell no, I was not going to a playground with nothing but Uchiha brats tomorrow. I still hadn't recovered from the our last 'playdate'. Ugh kids are nothing but pricks who think they're better than everyone but pretend they don't actually want to spit in your face. And their mother are worse than white moms named Karin, bragging about their cheerleader daughter and soccer son's game during weekly vegan brunch at Panera.

"Why~" I wasn't whining godammit. Shit, I meant dammit. (Kami don't hurt me) I am a 26 year old woman, I am above playing with spoiled snot nosed kids.

"Because you need some sort of social interaction. You can't just stay inside cooped up all day, it isn't healthy."

I gave her a pointed look.

"I work, and when I deliver my papers I get to see my friends at the office. When I go shopping I interact with the people I knew from the academy and other shoppers as well." She defended herself quickly.

"Oh well then I can just wait to make friends at the academy. I wanna stay home and do paperwork just like you Kaa-chan!" I even added a smile at the end to try and break her.

"Uh-uh don't even think about using that tactic on me. You are going to the park tomorrow and you are going to try to make friends with Koharu. Now stop arguing and eat your lunch." My mother tried to give me the stern mother look, but was failing at hiding her amused grin.

I grumbled 'itadakimasu' and set about eating my onigiri, after removing all the seaweed of course. I tried to eat seaweed, but that shit is disgusting. I wonder where they actually get seaweed from. Maybe Kiri?

Ugh tomorrow is suck balls. Unless I establish dominance over all the kids. That's how this whole child thing works right? The older or smarter you are the more followers you have? And there are different groups that fight eachother for superiority through bad insults and possible fighting? I'm already at a disadvantage if those other kids are there, but it is a possibility. I remember in this one fanfic where an Uchiha OC created a minion army and stopped the massacre from happening, maybe I can do that.

Oh yeah I've got to get another notebook to start writing my grand plans and master schemes in. Hmm Maybe my mother will get me another. As I glance towards her I realize that she's staring at me. Probably for a while by the looks of it. She always stared at me she gave me after she said something and I wasn't paying attention and completely ignored her.

Oops?

"Sorry Kaa-chan did you say something?" I make my voice sheepish and fumble my hands a little. I don't think I missed her talking, but I could never be sure. My parents and teachers in my previous life had always made sure I knew that I spaced out a lot.

"No Hatsuki, but after you finish lunch we're going outside to practice some katas and hand seals in the backyard."As she sipped her tea I almost missed the analyzing look in her eye.'

_'Gulp'_

Guess 'training' is going to be interesting. Which was weird that she wanted to do it today anyway. Usually we do a few katas and handseals for like 20 minutes every off day she has when she gets tired of working. I'm pretty good at them, I only have trouble with that damn oxe sign. Fingers aren't supposed to move like that. All the katas I've got down too, but I think she's only having me do the basics. She hasn't had me do anything with my chakra yet, so maybe we're doing that today. Well I guess I better hurry up and finish if I want to find out.

* * *

**Time skip: AN ETERNITY LATER (but actually only 2 hours)**

'wheeze'

So apparently she did want to go over chakra today.

And stamina running.

And all katas.

And basic taijustu and ninjustu.

I have learned that mother dearest is a closet sadist. And apparently also a retired Tokubestu Jonin, specializing in poisons, taijustu, and kinjsutu, that left the shinobi life after she got pregnant with me.

Guess you learn something new everyday.

I was currently laying on my back trying to breathe after all she had me do. We went through all the katas and hand seals first, and when my mother realized that I knew all of them she had me move on the chakra molding. Which I was surprisingly good at, after I identified what chakra was. It felt weird at first to gather it all in one place, and took a little bit of concentration, but my mother said that it will get easier and feel more natural with practice. Which she apparently wants me to do everyday now. After I molded my chakra for a bit she had me move on to actually doing a justu, specifically a fire one. I took it at that moment to remind mother dearest that I was three, to which she replied, and I quote, 'I could do this when I was your age'. I think I understand why everyone else thinks the Uchiha are insane. To my smug satisfaction I actually did the iconic fireball justu, well granted the fireball was the size of a soccer ball, but I did it.

The look of panic on my mothers face as I burned down part of her garden was hilarious. Until she pointed out that some of the plants were for poisons and quite possibly could have released toxins into the air.

You'd think that we would stop there.

But nope, my insane mother just took it in stride after a moment, used a spray foam from inside to put it out, and we moved onto taijustu. At first she said she was going to start slow and only block my moves and then would go a little bit faster and start hitting back every time I hit her, until I couldn't hit her anymore or take anymore attacks. I'm not ashamed to admit that I snickered at her frowning face when I kept hitting her and dodging her attacks in the beginning. Then I made the mistake of teasing her and calling her slow. Although I don't think that annoyed her as much as it did when I called her old. Yeah that was a big oops. In my defense I actually kept up with her for like 10 seconds before succumbing to my fate.

Ugh I sound like him and Neji. Scratch that, not fate. *before succumbing to my mothers brutal attacks. There fixed.

So that was why I was currently dying on the ground, hair sticking to my face with sweat, back being poked by annoying rocks, and the sun mercilessly glaring in my eyes. It was the last week in July and the weather was unbearably hot. Welcome to Fire Nation I guess. Hmm, I wonder if I can be a fire bender, like Sasuke supposedly was after he got his eternal mangekyo. That'd be cool. Oh pay attention brain our mother is talking to us.

"-and after your break we'll move onto throwing kunai and shuriken. You may get a quick snack and bring out some water if you get thirsty while you're training." I heard my mothers voice from somewhere to the right. As she entered my field of vision I almost cried when I realized what she said. More training.

"How long was that break Kaa-sensei? I could barely hear you over my muscles crying out in pain" I dramatically said, rolling up into a sitting position.

"I said 10 minutes, but I'll let you have 20. I'll let you try some muscle salve that helps them not to cramp up, and some herbs that help you replenish your chakra faster." As I watched her walk up the step and disappear into the house I realized that she had changed out of her basic purple kimono and into some shinobi pants and shirt. Looking down at my own dirty, ruined kimono I realized I probably should have done the same. I'm surprised to she didn't say anything about it, wait do I have any actual training clothes. My mother usually always changed me, because I always have trouble with the damn obis, and I don't care what I wear.

Huh. Guess I'll have to ask.

Groaning I stand up and walk inside to voice my thoughts to my mother and to see just what she wants me to use. I'm already dreading the rest of training.

* * *

**Another Time Skip: This time to around 8:00 p.m**

After another hour of semi-brutal training I had crashed for about an hour straight. That time we had done kunai and shuriken practice until I got all the kunai perfect and shuriken kinda good, then added genjsutu to me. That shit fucked me up at first. It felt violating to have some foreign chakra mixing with my own. I think they were low grade, it was easy to dispel them by disrupting it with my own chakra. I was pleased to find out that worked and that I actually remembered something from the show.

I'm once again glad that my brain decided to remember the most random stuff.

My mother was trying to teach my how to cast a genjustu after successfully dispelling about 80% of her genjustu, but I couldn't get it. I couldn't properly manipulate my chakra to affect someone else with whatever illusion I had in mind. Not to mention my reserves were running low and I was deadbeat tired. So after that she said we were done for the day and walked off with a satisfied look. Guess I hadn't done to bad, but if this was a normal training for a 3 year old clan kids, I might actually kill myself. So after my clear dismissal I immediately went inside ate an early dinner and took a nap.

For 5 hours.

I hadn't felt so tired and crashed so hard since I stayed awake for 72 hours straight attempting to pass my finals. I failed them miserably and just ate an entire supreme pizza and family sized box of white cheddar cheezits before crashing for 12 hours straight.

And I feel gross. All of the sweat has sorta dried, leaving me feeling grimy and disgusting. Damn I need to take a shower.

But I don't want to move. But I want to take a bath.

'Uuugh'

Turns out I didn't have to choose because my mother chose that exact time to walk into the door and scoop me up to bring my to our bath room. I squirmed in her arms and protested to being manhandled. She quickly striped both of us and got us both inside the nice warm water.

Me, being a good girl and totally not staring at my mother's big ass rack, and well ass too, just sat there and allowed my mother to clean me. It was kinda weird at when I first woke up in this world, but remembered that families all bathe together in ancient Japan and this is like during the same time. So it doesn't really bother me anymore.

"Kaa-chan, where's Tou-chan?" I asked while she was cleaning my hair. Okay don't judge me for not noticing that he was missing sooner, I was asleep. And having someone else clean your hair is one of the most amazing things that I have ever experienced.

"He's working the double shift today, he won't be back until way later tonight." she replied before dipping the back of my head into the water, and finishing cleaning the both of us off. I watched in silence as my mother dried and dressed me in my pajamas and sent me to bed.

My other gave me a stern look and said "Remember tomorrow we are going to the park, so I want you to behave"

"I know, I know, I won't cut anyones hair off or anything." I said rolling my eyes. Honestly I wasn't that bad.

"Goodnight Hatsuki" she said pointedly and I sulked off to bed. She was probably worried about me trying to stay up late again, normally I would, but not tonight. I need sleep.

After entering my room, I'm 99.99% sure I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow.

* * *

**The Next Day**

**Time: 9:30ish : Date:July 28th : Place:Hell**

So 'Koharu' as it turns out actually isn't that bad for a brat. She has dark blue hair and pretty, wide black eyes that stare into your soul. I'm 99.9999% sure Zetsu would give up resurrecting Kaguya for her if she asked. She's a little softspoken and kind of reminds me of Hinata, but surprisingly nice and decent for an kid.

The other kids though.

**THEY WERE MONSTERS.**

And apparently they all hated me because, and get this, I was a jerk. I know right? Completely crazy kids. All I did was say I was smarter than them, and prove it. It's not my fault I knew basic math. Most of the boys went to get some other older kid, that apparently was going to the academy this year and 'knew way more than I did', while the girls just glared at me and refused to talk and acknowledge my existence. While talking loudly enough to insult me with very unintelligent insults. I wouldn't mind it as much if it was just me, but the fuckin brats were ignoring Koharu and bullying her too. So of course I wouldn't take this sitting down, so I started insulting them back.

And inadvertly taught a majority of the Uchiha kids to swear like a sailor. So now the parents were glaring at me, while my mother was obliviously chatting away with Machiko.

"Hey he's here!" one of the boys that left shouted. I watched boredly as all the girls started to flock over to whoever was coming.

My heart stopped when I saw them.

"Ha-hatsuki-chan, are you okay?" Koharu the freakin fairy princess asked me.

Across the park I watched in horror as all my plans for saving the Naruto-verse die in a horrible way.

It was Sasuke dragging Itachi across, the park to me, with the boys and girls screaming about how I was the one who said it.

Sasuke was the brat going to the academy that was 'smarter than me'.

Which means he was 6 and Itachi was 11.

The massacre was going to happen in 2 years.

There was nothing I could do to save myself.

I was going to die.

I watched with a blank face as Sasuke walked up to me, let go of Itachi, and crossed his arms defiantly and all but yelled accusingly "So you were the one that said you were smarter than me and my Aniki."

That wasn't at all what I said, but as my eyes flickered to Itachi's amused expression I stupidly blurted out "Yeah, what about it?" in a fortunately calm voice.

I couldn't help but wonder if maybe my new life actually was a cosmic fuckup and this was the universe correcting itself.

Maybe it was my fate to die.

* * *

**And scene.**

**Woooooh this took a couple of days to write, rewrite, edit, scrap, and write again.**

**I am super nervous about posting this, but I hope you like it.**

**I don't know when the next chapter is, but here is a quick preview.**

_Huh, I some how managed to raise a minion army, raise a playground war with a certain duck butt, accidentally piss off the majority of the entire clan, and take the Academy entrance exams in three days._

_I honestly surprise myself sometimes._

**Here's a question for you guys, who's your favorite Uchiha? Mine is Shisui, if you coudn't tell earlier.**

**Reviews are love!**

**~Miley**


	2. Mediocris

**Thank you so much for the people who favorited and followed it means so much to me! It means so much to me that someone actually likes my story. Seriously I thought I'd be uploading this chapter to no one. And thank you the all the anonymous people that clicked on this as well. I send virtual cookies and ramen.**

**Sorry if this took a few days to post. I wrote out 4,000 words, edited it, and I know I hit the damn save button, but suddenly 5 hours of work doesn't exist anymore. I just had to close my computer and take a break. I typed this out on my phone, so thier may be a few mistakes. I'm in my last year of highschool so I have a ridiculous amount of shit to do which is why updates will be random. Sorry, I gots to get me dat diploma. **

**I'ma start adding quotes at the beginning because I think it's cool. And I want to.**

**Umm no warning aside from language, and possibly Sasuke bashing? Hastuki's favorite character from before was Deidara so she's biased. I personally don't really care for Sasuke, but I understand where he's coming from. I'd be angsty to if my prodigy brother killed my entire family and put me under a genjustu, making me watch it over and over again.**

**I don't own Naruto, if I did Kiba would have become the hokage because everyone deserves a dog.**

**And now on to t****he next chapter.**

**Edit: I don't know why autocorrect changed Kiba to Alina or how I missed it.**

"The only way to avoid failure is to sit in a corner and do nothing."

* * *

_Maybe it was my fate to die._

Realistically there's nothing major I can do in 2 years to prevent the massacre that won't screw everything up in the long run. I know this. The reason why the massacre even happened, or will happen, is because the Uchiha feel separated from the village. That would take way more than 2 years to fix, and by someone who was older and actually had connections with other clans. Not by a 3 year old who hasn't even formally met anyone outside of her clan. Even if I did do something drastic I could possibly ruin everything. I needed more time. The massacre was going to happen. I couldn't do anything. Everyone one around me, save Ducky and Itachi, are going to die in 2 years and I know it, but I can't do anything about it. Not without possibly causing some giant clusterfuck making everything worse. Like the Uchiha actually causing a civil war. So many more lives would be lost, and for what? I would fail miserably and possibly die for nothing if I tried to stop it. The massacre had to happen, even if it was death sentence to so many people.

Dammit, I was going to die at the age of 5. Well possibly 6, but that doesn't really matter because in a little over 2 years I was a dead chibi.

Even more depressing was the fact that I was going to die a virgin. Again.

Fuck I wouldn't even be able to try any of that sake Tsunade was always drinking.

I would never get to travel to Iwa and meet Diedara to see shit get blow up in a bunch of different glorious, colorful ways. I would never get to hug Kisame, punch Zestu, or hang with the rest of the Akastuki.

I wouldn't even get to see Orochimaru, Jiraiya, or Tsunade.

Or give Pakkun and the rest of the pack belly rubs.

Wouldn't get to see the Madara and Hashirama statues in the Valley of the End.

I was too late to change anything important.

I was too late to stop anything.

_ Toolatetograbhimfromthecaranditwascoldtooco**LD****COLDCOLDCOLDCOLDCO-**_

Whatever I did, didn't even matter because I was a dead chibi walking. Mentally and physically.

Oh well fuck it, I didn't have much of a say in my previous life but in this one I'll make sure to go out with a bang.

And I know just where to start.

* * *

I eyed the glaring boy in front of me up and down. Sadly, I couldn't look very intimidating to him, as I was a full head shorter, so I just settled for giving him a bored look. It successfully pissed him off even more. I briefly glanced away as Itachi walked over to where his mother had gone to talk with the adults. Good, at least I can be a total bitch to Sasuke without having to fear for my life. Moving my eyes back to Ducky, I raised my eyebrow in an unimpressed manner. I could totally take him in a knowledge battle. The education system here goes to like 12 right? And it's mostly ninja oriented stuff if I'm not mistaken. So yeah I was probably the smartest person here under the age of 11. Even if I it took me 2 tries to pass highschool and I couldn't even earn an associate's degree.

Not going to lie, I was going to have fun finally destroying someone in a knowledge related contest.

I mean don't get me wrong, It's not like I totally hate Sasuke for being a complete and total angsty dick that thinks he's better than everyone else while being manipulated also be responsible for a lot of fucked up things that'll happen in the future (like the best character in the whole naruto-verse's death), but I kinda do. And I don't particularly care for Itachi either. Not because of killing his family, I didn't even really have a problem with that. I was because he kept allowing himself to be manipulated by everyone else his entire life. Danzo, Fugaku, the elders, and Madara, all while saying it was for the good of a village that was clearly majorly flawed. I think the only halfway decent Uchiha was Shisui or Izuna and look at where there ended up. A plot device to further increase the other onscreen Uchiha's backstory. I mean seriously Madara already had a decent backstory without adding in Izuna's death.

As we were sizing each other up I noticed most of the kids in the playground started gathering around us. And choosing a side. Honestly the fact that 3 brats, including Koharu, were standing on 'my side' kinda caught me off guard. This was an interesting development. It meant that not all the Uchiha kiddies were blinded by Sasuke's...whatever they liked about him. Granted they were about 4 and 5, but it was still surprising that any other kid aside Koharu would stay on my side. And even then we had only spoken like 5 words to each other.

Heh.

Well I guess it's time to dethrone the king.

"So how do you want me to prove that I'm smarter than you? I mean that face of yours isn't helping your case." I drawled out, channeling my inner Nara. I actually would like to meet a Nara, if I wasn't so terrified that they would be able to tell that I wasn't a normal child. Anyway back to reality.

Cue fangirl's collective gasp.

Sure that was a petty insult, and not even a good one, but this is what being a child is all about. And I'll be damned if I don't enjoy it. I watched in satisfaction as Duck's face screwed up even more and he tried harder to glare holes in me.

Yeah this was going to fun.

"By proving I know more than you!" Ducky-Momo declared dramatically while smirking. I am going to wipe that smug look clean off his face.

In the most sarcastic voice I could muster, I clarified for the poor confused Ducky, "I asked how genius, not what wasn't going to happen." Honestly this was going to be too easy. Sasuke just gave a '_hmph_' before actually motioning for one of his followers to come from the crowd. A younger brat with slightly more wavy than spiky hair came forward carrying a book. An Academy text book by the looks of it.

"This is one my my Aniki's old text books that I have been studying for when I go to the Academy. I know a ton a stuff now, and you're just a little girl who can't read. That's how I'm smarter than you."

"Oh yeah Duck-ass? I dare you to prove it." The magic words to a kid. I dare you.

This time everyone was gasping and not just the fangirls.

"Duck-ass?" Sasuke questioned. Ah the confusion in his eyes was adorable.

"Your hair spikes up in the back making it look like a duck's ass." I stated like it was obvious. Some of the boys on his side started snickering until the fangirls understood what I said. The it was quiet.

Funfact, kids can unleash Killing Intent. I learned that today.

Granted it wasn't collectively a lot and it dissipated quickly, but I definitely felt it. It uncomfortable to breath for a moment. I was deeply disturbed by this fact and by the look on Sasuke's face he was too. Glancing back at the adults I saw that none of them noticed the KI at all while they chatted merrily. Great, if I accidentally got murdered there would be no adult witnesses paying attention.

Snapping out of it Sasuke asked in an accusing voice "Can you even read? I know how to read and write my own name."

"I can read and write hiragana and katakana but I haven't gotten all the kanji down yet." I admitted. "But I know my name in kanji uses the leaf and moon characters and know what they look like, so I could write them down if I wanted too!" I defended. No way this brat was one upping me.

"Ha your name mean leaf moon? How dumb!" He taunted.

"Did you not hear what I said twit? I can write in hiragana and katakana and I do know how to write my name in kanji! I just haven't yet, besides your name means helper or assistant which is dumber than mine." Not that my name was dumb in the first place. Sasuke seemed to miss that I inadvertently called my name dumb and glared at me like his life depended on it. Guess he didn't have a retort.

"Fine if think you're smarter than me because you read some of your precious niisan's book, then why don't you have one of the kids ask questions from the book and we'll see how many each of us can answer. The person with the most answered questions at the end is the smarter one." Why didn't we just do this in the first place?

"_Hn. _Fine, we can do that, then I'll prove to you that you're dumber than me and my Aniki!" He crossed his arms and smirked at me.

"We'll see who's laughing a minute Ducky," I responded while crossing my own arms.

"_Hn. _Asahi, start asking questions" Princess Duck-ass commanded his poor subject over the subtle snickers. Hopefully by the time this whole thing is over I will have liberated the owners of said snickers from mindlessly following the Duck to follow me instead. If I'm going to go down in Uchiha, and hopefully Konoha, history I'll a minion army to help.

Asahi as it turns out was the kid that brought out the book in the first place, came forward and started asking questions. Starting with "What's 15-6?"

I almost started cackling right then and there. This was to be a piece of cake.

"9"

"9"

Me and Ducky said simultaneously. He gave a shocked look, before screaming at poor Asahi to ask another one.

"How many days are in a week?"

"7"

"7"

And so on it went.

**FOR 30 FUCKING MINUTES! **

Gosh dammit, you'd think that after 10 minutes he'd get the point, but the fucking Ducky

Just.

Would.

Not.

Give.

Up.

Honestly, if he was this bad, I can't imagine what Naruto is like. Or Lee for that matter.

'_Shiver_'

Or Gai.

The only positive side so far was that a few of his zombie followers had actually left his side and joined mine. This was good. But unfortunately the kids were starting to disperse because of their lack of interest. Koharu was the only one that stayed on my side the entire time.

Meanwhile the parents were still chatting away. Itachi was going back in forth between our group and the adults. I think he was amused that his Otouto was putting all of his effort into proving me wrong. Oh well onto the next question.

"Who was the Shodaime?"

Sasuke hesitated. I didn't.

"Senju Hashirama! I win! Suck it Duck-Ass!" I was grinning like a madman.

Sasuke just puffed out his cheeks and cried "I knew that! I just forgot it that was all! Ask another question Asahi! I'll beat you this time Baka!"

"Haha of course you forgot. And no don't ask another question, this contest is over. I won and proved that I'm smarter than you. In your stupid face!" I don't know why beating a person who was 20 years younger than me felt so good, but it really did. It honestly cheered me up about the whole 'I'm going to die in 2 years' thing, when I saw the desperate look on his face. It was hilarious.

The kids had all congregated back together when I began shouting. They looked in awe back in forth from me to Ducky, as tried desperately to come up with a way to prove me wrong.

"Are you really smarter than Sasuke-kun?"

"Can you really count to 50?"

"Do you know everything?"

And then they all decided to crowd around me and ask questions at the same time. I just stood there with smug grin on my face staring down Ducky. This is what you get for killing Deidara you ass. Poor Ducky was floundering about trying to think of something, anything to prove me wrong.

"If you're so smart how come your not taking the Academy entrance exams like me?" The Duckling huffed.

"Who's says I'm not?! I could be and maybe you just don't know. You're just pissy because a girl is better than you! And wait, you're taking the entrance exams? So you don't even know for sure if you're even going to the Academy or not." Wait you have to take an entrance exam to go to the Academy? I don't remember reading or seeing anything about that. I guess that makes sense, the Academy couldn't possibly hold all the kids in Sasuke's age group. So I guess they weed out which ones are more likely to pass than other and move from there.

Ducky didn't even notice what I said at the end and what too caught up in the fact that I said a girl was better than him. He visibly lit up as he found a way to prove that he was superior.

I wouldn't regret per say, the next few moments but I'm not proud to admit I lost my temper. But it wasn't my fault! I couldn't let the Ducky show me up!

"If your so much better than me, can you do this?" I watched as he focused his chakra, and did the hand seals as he could. "Fire Style: Fireball no Justu!" Ducky shouted, creating a fireball the size of a basketball.

Not to outdone I channeled as much chakra as I could into my chest and went through the hand seals. Bringing my finger to my mouth I let out my own cry, "Fire Style: Fireball no justu!"

It was twice the size of his.

Almost burning down the wooden part of the playground was worth it too see the look on his face. Apparently Ducky couldn't believe that I had outdone him.

"You're used a genjustu!" He dared to accuse me.

"As if, I can't even use genjustu yet! You're just pissy that a girl is better than you!" I quickly retorted, "Obviously I wouldn't need a genjustu if I wanted to prove that I was better than you!"

"If you're so much better than me dodge this!" And then he proceeded to tackle me. Hard.

"Oomph" I let out as he collided with my stomach. As we hit the ground I tried to get my legs up to kick him off. I managed to get him off of me and stand, before hitting him in the chest. He retaliated in turn, opting to hit me in the corner of my eye instead. I hissed and dove for his legs to knock him off balance. He let out his own eclamation before I was on top his chest about to hit him the face as payback. But before I could deliver swift justice, I was suddenly yanked backwards. I made a sound of disagreement at being yanked around so carelessly, and glared up at the person who dare interrupt me teaching Ducky a lesson. And immediately regretted it, and stern black souless eyes were glaring back at me full force.

"_Hatsuki Uchiha_!"

I meeped out a tiny "Kaa-chan" before Mikoto interrupted me.

"Sasuke Uchiha you apologize to her right now!" She was gripping his arm tightly. Judging by Sasuke wince, I'm assuming it hurt. Good.

"I'm sorry you couldn't dodge me" He was glaring holes in the dirt.

"_Sasuke!" _Mikoto grounded out between clenched teeth. Jeez she was kinda scary when pissed.

Speaking of pissed, I'm kinda scared that my mother is going to break my right upper arm with how hard she was gripping it.

"I'm sorry I tackled you and hit you" He bit out, and moved his eyes to glare at me full force. Fucking brat. As I opened by mouth to make a sarcastic reply my mother started squeezing my arm even harder.

"Hatsuki apologize."

"I'm sorry you can't except the fact that a girl who is 3 years younger than you, is also better than you." I sneered back. No way in hell was I apologizing for something he started.

"Hatsuki!" she moved he grip on my arm and started pulling on my ear.

"Owe!Owe! Okay!" I pulled away rubbing my ear. "I'm sorry for saying I was better than you and fighting with you." I matched Sasuke's glare with one of my own.

"Oh my Rukia-chan, she's just like you when you were young." Mikoto giggled, bringing her free hand to her mouth.

Who was Rukia?

"Unfortunately so it would seem Mikoto-senpai." My mother replied.

Wait my mother's name is Rukia? Hol' up, SENPAI?!

Sasuke's face mirrored my own confusion at the fact that our mothers apparently knew each other.

"Well, we have to go now, it was nice catching up! Take care" My mother cheerfully waved goodbye to Mikoto and some of the other adults before pushing me towards the entrance/exit of the park. I would have believed her sunny attitude if she hadn't returned her death grip on my arm.

We made roughly a full block before my mother dropped my arm and let me have it. She gave me a stern lecture the rest of the 10 minute walk home. How I shouldn't pick fights with other kids, how I should respect the clan head's kids, how she was disappointed in me for not being nice, ect.

When we made it to the bottom steps of our house my mother asked me for my version of what happened. I told her everything, and made sure that she knew it wasn't my fault. Ducky was the one that started the fight. She just sighed and let out a 'Kami help me' before telling me I was going to my room for the rest of the day a punishment.

The entire time I was glaring at the ground. How come I was getting in trouble? This was all the stupid Ducks fault. I mean sure I met have egged him on, and said that I was smarter than him but that wasn't my-Oh. It actually was my fault. I was a grown ass woman fighting with little kids. I purposely picked on Sasuke because I didn't like him for stuff he hasn't even done yet. Sasuke right now was just a little kids trying to impress his absenty father who kept comparing him to his prodigy brother. Gosh, now I feel like an ass.

My mother noticed my guilty look and sighed. "Hatsuki, I know you are smarter than you appear and you don't like playing with other kids, but honestly I expected you to behave yourself. Just because you're smarter than most kids doesn't mean you have to show it off and it also doesn't mean that you're better than everyone else. You need to understand that not all kids act as mature as you do and that doesn't make them beneath you."

Wait she knows I'm not a normal kid?!

She's a jounin from a shinobi village trained at a young age to read body language and hidden signs and shit. Of course she knows that her daughter, who spends most of her time reading and writing, isn't like other kids. Besides if she's friends with Mikoto, Mikoto might have told her Itachi acted as a child. Just because shes a first time mom doesn't mean shes stupid, the logical part of brain supplied.

I just stood there blinking.

Chuckling at the look on my face, my mother confirmed my thoughts, "I'm a shinobi Hatsuki, I know how normal children act. I brought you to the park yesterday so that you could try and make friends with Koharu. She's a bit advanced for her age, and I think you would be good friends if you gave her the chance. I don't know why you've been trying to hide the fact that you're a prodigy, but you've been doing a pretty bad job at it. Now come on, lets get inside and clean that wound on your face, its going to leave a nasty bruise." My mother gently pulled my arm towards towards the door.

She thinks I'm a prodigy? Huh, actually I could use this.

Going on a whim I ask, "Kaa-chan, can I take the Academy entrance exams?"

"We'll see" was all she said as we went inside.

I internally mused, Sasuke was going to the Academy this year right? So if I took the exams and passed, I would be in the same year as the infamous rookie 9. I'd be able Naruto and the rest of the main cast without going out of my way to explore the village in hopes of meeting them. Although I couldn't shake the feeling of this being a bad idea, I said fuck it. I was in one of the most prominent anime series in my old world, and I'll be damned if Ducky was the only "character" I meet before my death. Besides, maybe I could help Hinata become more confident in herself, that girl needed a serious friend. Oooh and while I was at it I could convince Sakura that Ducky was no good for her. And maybe get Ino to be less bitchy...Nah I think that's impossible.

Maybe I could positively affect the naruto-verse and make a difference before my death.

* * *

**Time skip: Next Day**

**Date: July 29th : Time: 12:00 : Place: Uchiha Playground from Hell**

So my mother thought it was a good idea to bring me back to the playground the next day as additional punishment. We had another talk later that night, and I said I didn't mind if Koharu came over sometime. So she was using social interaction as punishment for me. She getting smarter. After I had gave her my word I wouldn't do anything like yesterday again, she dropped me off at the park and left to fill out the paperwork for my entrance exams. Turns out they were actually tomorrow and my mother had to finish the all the paperwork so that it could be processed by tonight.

Although to be fair, coming back to the park wasn't all that bad. Sasuke and his following were off doing who knows what, so we had the park to ourselves. I got to talk to Koharu all morning and she was actually pretty smart for a chibi. Incredibly shy, but smart. It was adorable. Another thing was that my following of 3 moved up to a small minion army of 12. Apparently they were impressed by my awesome fireball justu they decided to follow me. Granted, they were all younger kids, with the oldest being around 6 but I didn't mind. They would be easy to teach and carefully crafted into perfect little army. They had all shouted their exicedtly when I first properly introduced myself, but I settled for giving them all nicknames. I would forget their names in a couple of hours anyway, but I'd be less likely to forget my pet names for them. I also promised them in exchange for their loyalty, that I would protect them from Sasuke and his following. He had about 15 boys who were round the ages of 6-10, plus fangirls. I had also promised to entertain them with stories and games that they had never heard before. What stories, you may ask. Well disney was popular among the kids in my old world for a reason. While I was in the middle of my beautiful rendition of 'Mulan' or Mikasa as I had renamed her, a chibi I nicknamed, Genji interrupted me-

"Hatsuki no Danna, have you ever seen a dragon before?"

Hmm, I guess not really an odd question considering what story I was telling them, but I wonder why he's asking.

"No I haven't, but I'm pretty sure I've seen a fairy before. Why do you ask?" I replied while looking at Koharu. I had of course nicknamed her Yosei. She actually reminded me of a female Haku.

"Well Sasuke-kun"-insert glare from me-"I mean Princess Duck-butt said he has."

"Okay, and you do you believe him just because he said so?" I asked. I doubt Ducky had actually seen a dragon, sounds more like Itachi or Shisui making a genjustu for him.

"Um.." Poor Genji looked so confused. Until his older brother, named Hanzo respectively, chimed in-

"Then why should we believe you if you said that you saw a fairy?" He sounded a bit too smug for my liking.

Hmm what to do, what to do.

I grinned like the Cheshire Cat as an idea came to mind. If was going to go down in Uchiha, and hopefully Konoha, history I might as well start now.

"Because I can prove it and show it to you." I stated simply.

They all closely gathered around me as I explained what they needed to do.

**Time Skip: After One Explanation of Hatsuki's Scheme **

I cackled internally as I watched my chibis run off to gather the needed items and get started on Operation TITANIA. It took me a little bit on convincing at first, but by the end all the kids believed me. This was going to be awesome.

"A-ano, Hatsuki no Danna...I don't mean to be question you, but why did you lie to them?" Koharu's brow was furrowed in confusion. She had been quite entire time of my planning and dishing out orders.

"What do you mean my Yosei? And don't call me that, we're friends now. Just call me Hatsuki."

"H-hai Hatsuki-chan, I meant why did you lie to them about the fairies? They aren't real, and even if they are, I don't think that this will attract them. So why did you lie to them?" She said reiterated.

"Because I was teaching them a lesson. Not to blindly follow orders." That wasn't at all why I did it, but I don't think she would like me telling her it was for my own personal enjoyment. I didn't want her to think I was crazy. Yet.

"Okay Hatsuki-chan." She didn't sound to sure.

"Are you going to carry your part of the plan?" I needed to make sure she didn't snitch on me or something.

"No!" She shouted and then blushed from embarrassment. Gosh she was too pure for this world.

"Alright then lets get to it."

"H-hai!"

* * *

**Time Skip: The Next Day**

**Date: July 30th : Time: 7:00 : Place: Right outside the Academy.**

I had been up since the ungodly hour of 6:00 a.m. to get ready to go to the Academy for the entrance exams. Although it was sad that I wouldn't get to see the immediate end result of Operation TITANIA, it would keep the suspicion off of me until my minions caved.

And it postponed my mothers wrath when she inevitably finds out.

The exams are supposed to end at around 9:30ish with a small break in between, these are little kids and part of the exam is to test how long they can sit still for. I wasn't worried about failing, after all I was a prodigy *insert hair flip, but I was still nervous. I guess meeting the future saviors of the shinobi world was a bit nerve racking. So far I had only seen Sakura and some other civilian kids be dropped off as I approached the academy.

"You remember the way home right?" my mother asked. At my nod she looked like she wanted to say more but hesitated. Instead she kneeled down, and despite my loud protest, she kissed my forehead. For an Uchiha she was oddly public about displaying affection.

"Remember behave, and come straight home."

"I know, I know Kaa-chan. See you later!" I waved behind as I walked through the doors. A chuunin directed me down the hall and too the right room.

This was it. As I stepped through the classroom with anticipation, reality immediately hit like cold water.

Just like Ducky they were still just immature brats right now.

Looking around the room I could see Naruto and Kiba having a shouting match in the front rows, while Akamaru was loudly barking his opinions. The girls, except for Hinata, were loudly gossiping and whispering on the middle rows about Sasuke, who had noticed my presence and started glaring daggers at me. In the second to back row Shikamaru was asleep with Choji eating chips next to him, while Hinata sat in the back row behind them by herself.

As I made my way down the row and sat next too her I could only think of how disappointed I was.

**XxXxXxXxXThisisalineXxXxXxXxXxX**

**To be continued *cue Jojo music***

**Sorry, I'm on mobile and I can't figure out how to make a line. So that'll do. At the time of posting this I don't have any reviews, but I'll ask another question.**

**Who's you favorite BNHA character? Mine is Aizawa-sensei.**

**Next chapter:**

_I looked up to glare at the sky, trying to distract myself from the consequences of Operation TITANIA. Jashin dammit all, why is it so hot? I could feel the sweat rolling down my back. Gross. While I was getting ready to strip down someone cleared thier voice awkwardly. Glancing over to see who it was, I came face to face with one of the most glorious things in the world; Shisui's smile._

_Before I could even think I blurted out, " No wonder why it's so fucking hot outside."_

**~Miley**


	3. Errat

**Thank you so much Jazzmeene for your review! As for whether the massacre will happen or not, I'm still debating on it. Originally this was going to be a one shot where she dies at the end but gives Itachi her memories, but I'm slowly leaning away from that ending. It'll probably end up being a partial massacre but I'm still not sure. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to get Shisui to live, and how the fight with Danzo over his Mangekyou will play out. But we still got a ways to go before we get there, so I'll figure it out as long as the plot bunnies don't attack me.**

**So I've seen a lot of conflicting Naruto timelines, so I'm kinda doing my own thing here. Please point out any mistakes that I make so that I can fix them, I want my fanfic to be as accurate as possible in the timeline.**

**This chapter might be a bit shorter than the others, I had exams all week so I hardly have anytime to write. And the first half just wouldn't flow right. I'm not too happy with how it turned out, but I needed to update.**

**Oh and I thought I explained in a previous AN but I forgot. Hatsuki doesn't use the name of any god as an exclamation or 'in wain' because she doesn't want to piss them off and she's going to keep using 'I'm a prodigy' as an excuse for whatever she does. She thinks its hilarious that she can pull one over every trained shinobi by a simple lie.**

**No warnings, aside from language. If I'd owned Naruto more of the jinchuuriki would have survived getting the bijuu extracted through plot convenience. Now o****nto the chapter!**

"Reality is often disappointing." -_Thanos_

* * *

Kiba and Naruto were loud as fuck. It had taken 5 minutes for them to stop arguing and go try to meet other kids. It was depressing to see how quickly the civvie kids rejected Naruto. Before he could make two steps in their direction the turned their backs and loudly whispered about 'the demon child'. I had half a mind to go over there and teach those midgets a lesson, but I knew that wouldn't really do anything right now. It would just reflect poorly on the Uchiha and possibly make them more violent to Naruto. So I watched Naruto as he went up to Choji and Shikamaru and tried to strike up a conversation. As I let myself zone out I could practically feel the glare Ducky was giving me. Some of the girls where giving me curious glances, but they were a bit preoccupied trying to figure out how they were going to introduce themselves to Ducky. Jeez these girls were 6 and were already starting to fight over a boy. Bitches be crazy.

"...m...at...wh...rs.."

I blink and glanced over at Hinata. She was red in the face and looking down at her lap, her hands fumbling around nervously.

"I'm sorry did you say something?" I watched as she turned even more red and attempted to repeat what she said.

"I'm...ata...ni...to...et...uo..." Wow we are going to have to fix that. I mean its adorable, but I can't understand anything that she's saying.

"I'm sorry I didn't quite catch that, but my name is Uchiha Hastuki, but you can just call me Hatsuki. Its nice to meet you Hyuuga-san, I hope that we can become friends!" I add a saucy wink and a smile.

Hinata was one of characters that I had a love hate relationship with. I loved her because she was adorable and a quality waifu, but I hated how her only purpose in the show was the quiet shy girl who had a crush on the oblivious protagonist. Sakura got semi-redemption in the early half of shippuden, but things kinda went meh. It was sad that most of the girls in naruto were like this. I mean Konan seemed like she would be a fucking awesome kage, leading Ame into a new age of peace. But Kishimoto just killed her off because Pain died and this meant she had no immediate purpose in the show. I mean she was like an SS-ranked Shinobi and died of chakra exhaustion. Chakra exhaustion! I think the only female character that I actually liked without semi hating was Anko. Note to self: meet Anko before my death. I think she's not a student of Orochi-sama anymore, but I'm not sure. Speaking of which, I wonder if Orochi-sama has skipped town yet.

Oh Hinata is talking to us. Pay attention Hatsuki.

"...I'm Hyuuga Hinata...I also hope we can become friends Hatsuki-san." She was nervously messing around with the bottom of her jacket.

So precious. In my previous life I wasn't much of a kid person. Between Koharu, my minions, and Hinata I think that's starting to change. Maybe kids aren't shallow demons who want to tear you apart.

I glanced over to where the fangirls were starting to fight over who would get to talk to Ducky first.

...Maybe not.

"Alrighty Hina-chan, I declare that we are now friends. Just call me Hatsuki though, no -san. We should train sometime, you look like you would be fun to spar." Befriend Hinata achievement unlocked! Now to slowly praise her and build up her confidence in herself so that she has faith in her abilities as an independent Kick-ass kunoichi. Then manipulate Naruto to develop a crush on her to get the perfect ship to sail a bit early. Can't have Naruto wasting several years on Sakura. Thinking of Sakura, I'm going to have to do something about her fascination with Ducky. I mean it was fine to have a crush on Ducky, I didn't care, like who you want too, but it ruined her friendship with Ino and severely hampered her when she was a genin. Not that her friendship with Ino was all that great in the first place. I mean fighting over a guy (especially Ducky, I mean seriously him of all people?!) when you were training to become professional killers was really stupid.

It was like the Ducky was physic or some shit because he decided to walk over to where me and Hinata were sitting.

I, of course, pretended to be oblivious of him and continued to happily chat away with Hinata about how we where going to be great friends. Hinata, who was bright red of course, was trying to subtly trying to get my focus on him.

"Umm...Hatsuki-chan...I think Sasuke-san wants your attention..."

"And maybe you can come over for a sleep over some time, do they have sleepovers here? Oh well, we'll have one anyway, then I can introduce you to Koharu. You'll like her, you guys are almost the same. Sadly she'll be attending the Academy next year. Oh and you have to meet my minions, they are pretty cool, although I don't remember all their name, yo-"

"What are you doing here?" He sneered at me.

Gosh I can hear the 'How dare you show up here, I am far superior than you' that he left out.

"Spreading the good news of our lord and savior Jashin-sama." I deadpan before turning back to Hinata. "As I was saying before I was rudely interu-"

"Don't ignore me-"

"Hey are you being rude to Sasuke-kun?!" One of the fangirls, Ino I think, shouted quite loudly at Hinata. Poor Hina tried to shrink into a ball and turn invisible. Ducky, the coward, had slowly backed away when the girls showed up and returned to his seat. Nani the fuck did this little prick just say?! How dare this broad accuse Hinata of all people of being rude.

"Um excuse me-" I start before she starts glomping me. Seriously, she start hugging me, and before I can yell about sexual assault she starts screaming like a banshee.

"Aren't you the most adorable little thing, yes you are! Are you lost? And was this mean girl who was being rude to Sasuke-kun being rude to you too?" She was squishing me against her non-existent breast. The other girls started cooing and pinching my cheeks while saying how cute I was.

I am not a fucking doll.

"Bitch get the fuck away from me!" I shoved Ino away into the other girls and partially landed on Hinata's lap. Poor Hinata was just a stuttering mess, trying to figure out what was going on.

. The fangirls gasped, and stood wide eyed with their jaws hanging open. They looked like fish gasping for air.

"Wha-what did you just say?" Ino sputtered.

"You heard me the first time bitch, get the _fuck _away from me, and leave Hinata alone. She wasn't being mean at all, Duck-Ass was the one who was being rude." I could feel, rather than see Ducky's eyes on me. Before they could respond a chuunin came into the room, a Nara by the looks of it, and told everyone to talk a seat. The fangirls sulked back to their seats looking mildly offended.

"Hina-chan are you alright? You know its okay to breathe..." I think she was starting to hyperventilate.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me!" she squeeked out. She was still nervously messing around with her jacket.

"Alright kodomos, settle down and stop talking. Today we will be evaluating you in three test. The first will be a short written test, then you will read a passage and answer questions on it, and lastly you will have a physical exam. My name is Ryuzaki Nara, and unfortunately for me I will your chuunin proctor for these exams. Those who pass will be attending the Academy, but those who fail will be taught at home by their parents or take the exams next year. How troublesome..."

So first exams is a knowledge assessment, the second is too see how well we can read an order and repeat it, and the third is too see our actual physical potential at becoming a Shinobi. I wonder if I'm just looking into this too deeply or not. Either way, the thought makes my stomach churn. As he starts handing out the test I notice most of the kids start whispering to each other and giggling. These kids are trying to enter an Academy that will train you to kill other people for no reason aside from 'that's the way it is', and they're treating it like a joke. I wonder if being a prodigy or rookie of the year just means you have common sense and took being a shinobi seriously.

"You have'll have an hour and a half to do the two first exams, before we move onto the physical one outside. Your time starts now, and please refrain from talking to each other the entire time and sharing answers." After handing me a paper to pass to Hinata and walked back to his seat and fell asleep.

Ok then, let's get crackalackin.

**TIME SKIP:15 Minutes and owning 2 exams later**

In hindsight, waking up a sleeping shinobi was a bad idea. I did not think that through. But in my defense I didn't think he was actually asleep, I thought just thought he was pretending to be asleep so that he could spy on us or something. Who falls asleep while basically babysitting a bunch of 6 year olds? After setting my test on the desk, I poked his cheek to wake him up. Before I could even blink I frozen in place by the shadow justu with a kunai pointed between my eyes. His eyes were still closed, calm expression on his face.

With my heart pounding in my I blinked.

Once. twice.

"'THE FUCKING HELL?!" I yelled as my ass hit the floor.

"You shouldn't wake up a sleeping shinobi, specifically a napping Nara. And don't curse." He drawled, lowing his kunai before quirking his eyebrow, "What's this? Finished already?"

"Yes, and thank you for that heart attack by the way, I feel like you just took 20 years off my life. So thanks for that." I dusted myself off as I got up.

"You do know that the average child takes an hour and 15 minutes to complete both exams right?"

"Yeah, well apparently I'm a fucking prodigy," I huffed crossing my arms. Jeez, this guy nearly killed me and he didn't even apologize for it. Jerk.

"Language, and are you sure you finished all of it? You do know there are a front and back to all the paper right?" He tried to keep a bored look on his face, but I could tell as he was assessing me.

"Yeah I know, I finished all of it, now what do I do." I had actually finished the both exams a couple minutes ago, but I was helping Hinata with some math word problems. I offered to let her use my answers, but she insisted on finishing herself. She was so pure.

"I guess you can sit quietly and read a book in the back, but don't help any of the other," he said in a bored tone. He immediately sat back down, and pulled out a pillow from a scroll. He eyed the class and said, "I will wake up in 45 minutes, nobody touch or approach me until then or you might lose an eye." He then proceeded to plop his head down and snore away. The rest of the class, who had stopped whatever they were doing when I approached Ryuzaki, returned to whispering about how I finished the test already. I walked over to the tiny bookcase with old battered books on it.

Eh might as well pick something with some kanji in it for practice. The test had a few that I didn't understand, but I could still answer the questions correctly given the context. That and Hinata had been a cinnamon roll and helped me out. After grabbing a book about ninjustu theory, I turned to leave before my eyes got caught on a book.

'The Tale of the Utterly Gusty Ninja'

HELL YEAH!

I almost forgot about this novel. To think I almost went my entire life without reading why Naruto was named Naruto. Ooh I need to master henge and buy icha icha, can't forget about that either.

I happily skipped back to my seat and started reading.

**Time Skip: 1 hr. 30 min. later**

They had finally fucking finished. It had been 84 years...

Surprisingly enough Naruto wasn't the last one either. It was some boys that kept talking the entire time and wouldn't focus.

After I had finished my new favorite book, I had studied kanji for about 30 minutes ago until my head felt like it was going to explode. Fortunately Hinata had finished around that time and we were talking quietly in the back. I learned that she was still the heiress, and Hanabi had turned one in march. I always thought that Hanabi was the same age as Konohamaru, and I guess now me, but she was actually 5 years younger than Hinata. I hadn't been to worried about my knowledge gaps before, but I wonder what other details I'm missing.

After the last kid put his test on the desk Ryuzaki just gave a loud sigh to gather everyone's attention, "Alright kids, let move outside and we'll start the physical portion." He lead the way outside and a training ground. I walked next to Hinata, wondering what they'll make us do. I doubt they'll make us do any ninjustu or genjustu, but I wonder if we'll spar. We all spread out loosely as we arrived to what appeared to be an obstacle course, with a track around it. As he started I zoned out and started paying attention to the fangirls.

"Did you see how he walked! He's so cool!" I heard one of the fangirls giggle. Walk? Seriously. I have never in my life said a person was cool because of the way he walks. Man I am glad I don't have to deal with fangirls, I don't think I could handle that. But this presents the perfect opportunity to troll them.

"Oi, girls quiet down, Nara-sensei isn't that cool. Besides fangirling over a teacher is inappropriate, he's like 50 years older than you, that's gross." I made a face and smiled innocently as Ryuzaki, who was clearly in his late twenties or early thirties, glared at me.

"Thank you for volunteering Uchiha-chan, you can go first. You will be completing a timed obstacle course then running a lap around the training field. If you complete it under 15 minutes you pass, if you don't you fail. Your time starts now." He pulled out a timer and pressed a button.

I gave a startled yelp before running up to the first obstacle, monkey bars. I made it all the way across before ducking down and crawling through a tunnel. As I huffed and made my way up a ramp I couldn't help but compare this to a dog obstacle course. On the way down, I saw a design on the bottom that looked suspiciously like the Inuzuka clan symbol. Except for the rock wall of course. I only came to a problem when I got to the hurdles. They came about to waist, while they only went to the knees of the other kids. I climbed over the first two, but face planted when I got to the third.

The snickers turned to sounds of disgust as I spit out a mouth full of dirt. Yeah that's pretty gross.

As I made it to the last station, the throwing station, I threw each kunai carefully. Hitting the bullseye three time, and hitter the outer rings with the other two. The shuriken however, I just threw and hoped the would stick. Shockingly, only one missed, with three hitting the outer rings and one hitting the center. I then ran my lap, pumping chakra into my legs to give me a boost.

I hunched over on my knees, trying to catch my breath while Ryuzaki wrote down my time.

"Congratulations Uchiha-chan, you beat the Kunoichi record and currently have the third fastest time on this course."

I did what now? I was only a prodigy in mind, not in body. I was still physically a 4 year old. How the fuck did that work? Maybe prodigies are just kids who take this seriously. Hmm I wonder who has the faster times than me.

"Who has faster times and who did I beat?" I gasped

"The fastest kunoichi on this course before you was Inuzuka Tsume. Uchiha Itachi has the second fastest time from a couple years ago, and another prodigy from before my generation by the name of Namikaze Minato."

Eh yeah, that makes sense.

* * *

**Time skip: 9:30 a.m.**

So basically the rest of the the time was dedicated to different people doing the course. So most of the kids were just talking while waiting their turns. I don't understand why they didn't just let us go home, but it was whatever. I was postponing judgement but that was fine by me. I felt a little giddy, I can't wait to see the results of Operation TITANIA.

Me and Hinata talked for the entire time, well me doing most of the talking. I did ask her a lot of questions about the Hyuuga clan. She couldn't answer all of them, but I think I kinda weirded her out when I accidentally asked her about Neji. I quickly covered, saying that I had an older cousin that was in the same class as him. So crisis averted. But sadly all things must come to an end.

"Alright, gather round, I'll be telling you your scores and if you pass or fail. No complaints. If you fail try again next year. After you hear your score and result you may leave." He flipped open his clipboard and started reading off the list.

"Uchiha Hatsuki: 100/100 on both written exams and a 96/100 on physical. Pass."

Yas! I mean I knew I would pass (after all I am a prodigy) but it still feel good to accomplish it.

Even though I could technically leave now, I decided to wait to hear Hinata's.

"Uzumaki Naruto: You scored a 69/100 on your fist exam and a 78/100 on your second. You managed to score a 80/100 on your physical part, so you pass."

"OH YEAH 'TTEBAYO!" He shouted jumping up and down before racing off. Presumably to go tell the Hokage.

...

"Uchiha Sasuke: 92/100 on first written exam and a 88/100 on the second. For the physical you scored a 95/100."

Hmmm Ducky's not going to like the fact that he scored lower than me.

...

"Hyuuga Hinata: 90/100 on the first written and a 95/100 on the second. On the physical you got an 87/100."

Alrighty then, time to bounce. I want to take a detour and see if I can find the Ichiraku ramen stand.

"Congrats on passing Hina-chan, I look forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks. See ya later." I gave a wink and a wave before walking back to the Acdemy to the entrance. She had to stay until one of her guardians picked her up, or I would have walked with her back to her clan. I would pay good money to see Hiashi's reaction to his daughter coming home with an Uchiha.

And now to find Ichiraku.

Sadly my quest wasn't meant to be, for 5 minutes into my adventure my mother found me and dragged me home. She didn't say a word the entire time and just kept muttering about me causing an unholy amount of paperwork.

Huh I didn't think new Uchiha emblems were that much paperwork.

* * *

**Time Skip:1:00 p.m.**

This...

This has turned into a difficult situation...

I swear to ka- I swear on my Mandi plush I did not mean for this too happen.

Operation TITANIA was simple. I told the minions that fairies were only attracted to bright colors, so I said for that they needed to dye all the clothes bright fluorescent colors. What I meant to happen was the white part of the Uchiha fan to be turned highlighter green, neon orange, hot pink, and electric blue.

But it turns out that shinobi grade dye is actually a really cool chemical compound that first bleach's any fabric then dyes it whatever color. But the thing about it is that you have to use a lot of it, or you get this weird tie die looking pattern. I think you can guess what happens to about 70% of the Uchiha populations dark colored clothes...

My minions wanted to see all the fairies and decided to douse all, and I mean ALL of their close relatives clothes with the "fairy attractor". For better or worse, they told every other Uchiha brat and got them to join in as well. I felt really bad for lying to them, especially with how much trouble we were in, but seeing Fugaku talking to my mother in a bright orange and dark blue tie dyed kimono shirt and neon green and black dyed pants made up for it.

I was in so much trouble though. My mother, who had never gotten mad at me before three days ago was livid. I had to re-dye all of the clothes by hand all by myself. To put that in numbers, 70% of an average 500 is 350. Around 350 people had all of their clothes dyed. If everyone had at least 5 outfits, you can see how my day is starting to look. Not to mention it was fucking hot outside. I mean it felt like my skin was going to melt off hot. I had a bunch of different bins with different colored dyes in each one, and I would just dump a load that needed to be dyed a certain color in the correlating bin. I would stir them around for like 30 minutes before wringing them out and hanging them to dry. Koharu, and the minions were going around the clan district collecting clothes and returning the ones that were re-dyed as their punishment. I had tried to take the blame off of them, but they had still gotten in a lot of trouble. I think the other parents knew me as the girl that was cursing out their kids, cause they kept glaring at me. Or maybe because their clothes made them look like part of a 60's hippies cult.

As I was putting a new batch of clothes in the blue dye bin I pictured Fugaku as Jeffery Lebowski. I immediately started cracking up.

"What's so funny Hatsu-Chan? Oh, and I brought some more clothes for you to dye" Koharu asked dropping a large pile onto the ground.

"I can't be worried about that shit, life goes on man," I choked out before falling to the ground in hysterics. I could only picture the entire Uchiha clan smoking weed talking about peace how 'peace is the way man'. Then my brain decided to send me a picture of Hashirama and Madara dressed as hippies, having peace talks while Hashirama grew them weed and plants for essential oils with Madara saying 'make love not war'.

I'm pretty sure I'm dying, and that Koharu thinks that I'm insane.

"Are you okay Hatsu-chan?" Koharu was standing over me giving me a little bit of shade.

"Yeah, I'm fine. The clothes on the line should be dry by now, so you can start folding them." I calmed down enough and slowly stood, stretching out my sore muscles. We worked in silence for a while before some of my minions came back and delivered more tie die clothes, making my already big pile depressingly large. After that my minions plus Koharu left to deliver the next load of re-dyed clothes, leaving me to have a heatstroke by my lonesome.

After what felt like an eternity I looked up to glare at the sky, trying to distract myself. Jashin dammit all, why is it so hot? I could feel the sweat rolling down my back. Gross. Fuck it. I'm stripping.

While I was getting ready to strip down someone cleared their throat awkwardly. Glancing over to see who it was, I came face to face with one of the most glorious things in the world; Shisui's smile.

Before I could even think I blurted out, "No wonder why it's so fucking hot outside." I watched as the smile morphed into a mildy shocked expression at my blunt statement. Fuckityfuckfuckfuck. Why am I so stupid? I meet one of my favorite side characters and my first thing to do it flirt with them?! Way to go Hastuki, you're fucking 3 years old.

"Ah so you must be the infamous Hatsuki-chan that's got the whole clan riled up?" He just gave me another smile and crouched down to my level.

"Yep, the one and only!" I gave a grin and almost burst out laughing when I noticed his outfit. His signature blue outfit an ugly combination of neon pink, green, white, and dark blue. "What can I do for you shinobi-kun?" I wasn't actually sure I should address him, but I can't call him by his name since he technically hasn't told me yet.

"SHISUI-NII WAIT UP!" I watched a blue and yellow blur skidded through the gate to our backyard.

Ugh Ducky.

"Oh maybe you should keep up Sasuke. You won't be a better ninja than me if you're always trying to catch up," he teased. Ducky huffed and was about to retort before he made eye contact with me.

"You." He glared at me crossing his arms. I noticed how his shirt, which was a different one than he wore at the academy, was tie-dyed yellow and blue.

Smirking, I replied back, "Me. Wassup Duck-Ass? What brings you to my humble dwelling? Cute outfit by the way, its a shame that you didn't wear that to the Academy this morning, your fangirls would have loved it." I know, I know. I'm being a bitch, but I wasn't going to physically fight with him anymore. I'll send a few verbal jabs his way, but I'm not going to full on antagonize him anymore. At least not being so close to my mother.

"We're here to drop off some clothes that a few of your friends dyed. I wanted to drop them off personally to see who the fuss was all about, Sasuke joined me because I'm watching him for his brother." Shisui replied for him.

"And don't call me that! I don't know why you wanted to see her anyway, she's just an annoying little kid," Sasuke grumbled the last part.

Oh Ho! Annoying little kid am, I foolish little Ducky?

"Yeah, and annoying little kid who has the third fastest time at the Academy and scored higher than the entire class, including you Princess."

"HATSUKI UCHIHA YOU BETTER BE WORKING OUT HERE AND NOT BEING RUDE!" I nearly fell into the purple dye bin as my mother slammed open the shoji to the back yard. Fortunately I caught myself, but I'm pretty sure my arms all the to my elbows will be purple for a while.

"H-hai Kaa-san, its just Ducky and his babysitter." I was trying to wipe off the purple on my kimono style shirt sleeves but failing. Fuck it. Ignoring Sasuke's scandalized gasp, I just took the whole thing off, leaving me in a loose dark red tank top and some shorts. Wow it suddenly feels 20 degrees cooler.

"Ah Shisui-kun, how have you been? I am so sorry about your clothes, my daughter can be a bit of a handul. Matsuda tells me you have been busy with missions. Come on, why don't you and Sasuke-kun come in for some tea?" My mothers personality changes are giving me whiplash.

"No thanks Rukia-neesan, I promised Sasuke I would help train with him. We're on are way to the training grounds and brought some of our clothes over to be re-dyed. I had to meet the infamous Hatsuki." I know a lot of people say that the sun shines from Minato's smile, but I'll fight them because I'm pretty sure I went blind from the dazzling smile Shisui just gave my mother.

"Alright then, take care Shisui-kun and Sasuke-kun!" my mother said cheerfully before walking back into the house.

"Bye Rukia-neesan! It was nice meeting you Hatsuki-chan, I'm looking forward to our next meeting," he said giving a wink before patting my head. As he walked towards the gate something came to mind.

"W-wait!" I said taking a step towards him.

"Yeah?" He gave a curious look, turning to face me.

"It would be a real shame if the kids didn't get to see a fairy after all the hard work they did..." I wasn't specifically going to ask him to cast a genjustu on my minions, not with Ducky right there.

"I'll see what I can do," he gave me an eye smiling, and I watched unmoving as he walked out the gate, following a Sasuke that was eagerly trying to get to training.

As I slowly brought my hand to my head I could only think '_I'm totally in love'._

* * *

**Hatsuki is now a Shisui fangirl! ****Kami this took forever to write. Hoped you enjoyed it. I probably won't have to edit and reread, so I apologize for my shitty grammar. I've got to post this and then get to studying for my exams tomorrow.**

**Question: What's your favorite hidden village? Mine is Taki because it looks so beautiful. And Zabuza is from there, so that's a plus.**

**Next chapter:**

_Honestly I can't tell if the is the best or worst birthday ever._

**_xXxTime SkipxXx_**

_"Leave her alone dattebayo!" Naruto shouted, jumping in front of Hinata._

_**xXxTime SkipxXx**_

_I ran as fast as I could through the forest. My lungs were burning and branches were scratching my my exposed face, arms and leg. But still, I kept running like my life depended on it, because it quite possibly did._

**Reviews are love!**

**~Miley**


	4. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**Thank so much for all the faves and follows they mean a lot too me! Sorry this isn't a chapter but a AN.**

**I actually decided on the ending and a sequel for Somnia, just not sure about some parts in between. It because I have also come across a huge problem- ships. I'm keeping a majority of the canon and semi-canon ships the same, but I am making some semi-canon and fanships, specifically the gay ones, canon in my story. So this is a warning that KakaObi, GenmaRaidou, and IzumoKotestu are going to be canon. There aren't any lesbian couples I can say I'm doing right now (well without completely spoiling the sequel) but I was debating on getting Anko a girlfriend or possibly making Tsunade and Shizune hinted at. Most of the ships are going to be hinted and loosely mentioned (TsunShizu and KakaObito).**

**Another thing to note is that Hatsuki is pansexual just like me. I haven't decided who or if I'm going to pair her with anymore, but all of that isn't until waaay later in the sequel.**

**So the ships that I would like the readers opinions on are ItaShisu and TsunShiz. I haven't read a lot of TsunShiz, but I think its a cute ship. If I decide to do my own thing with these ships, and be prepared for it, ItaShisu will be a MAJOR plot point in Somnia and the sequel. If I decide against it, Itachi and Izumi will be a couple and Shisui will be paired off with an OC.**

**I know a lot a people aren't really comfortable reading LGBT ships with characters that aren't specifically LGBT and I completely understand.I personally love all the ships, but I know how annoying it might be to have ships that aren't stated in the bio that you may not like, especially if its a big plot point. If you don't like these ships I completely understand if you unfollow and/or unfavorite.**

**So, that being said, please review or p.m. me with your opinions. The next chapter should be up Sunday. Enjoy your day!**

**~Miley **


	5. Inopinatum

**Hello everyone, sorry if this is a little late. My genius little brother downloaded a virus on my computer while browsing for offbrand anime because he didn't want to get caught on the family one. Being the awesome sister that I am, I told my dad that I downloaded a game that caused the virus and the geek squad should have it fixed next week. So I have to use the family one in the middle of the living room, with my heavy religious parents constantly looking over my shoulder. I was working on this chapter on mobile, but I like editing and reviewing on the computer because its easier to spot mistakes. **

**Funfact: This is also my longest chapter.**

**Thank you so much for your reviews Yasumin and 1freakshow! **

**Yasumin: ****Thank you so much for your kind words! ****I decided against the ItaShisui ship, and I'm going to do ItaIzumi instead.**

**1freakshow: We can't do no ship because Naruto is an anime that is big on relationships between characters. All the ships that I mentioned in the previous AN aren't going to be a main part of the plot. I'm not going to make all of my OC'S or the Naruto characters asexual when their not originally. If you're worried about smut or lemon, I will not be writing anything like that.**

**So I'm might have to stop doing chapter previews, because this is not what it was meant to be.**

**I don't own Naruto, if I did the Akastuki would have survived.**

"I am not a stalker, I am just an intense researcher and you happen to be a really good subject..."-A. Non. Emous

* * *

**Time:2:00 p.m. : Date: August 14th : Place:Uchiha Compound**

The next couple of weeks were a blur to me. It seemed to be a never ending cycle of training in chakra and ninjustu with my mother in the mornings, break to hang out with my minions and Koharu for a few hours, then training in taijustu in the evenings. And somewhere smashed between I had memorized most of the kanji-bet and somehow didn't bash my face in against our kitchen table. In those few weeks my minion following had grown to about 15 with a set of twin girls joining the club. They were closely related to Koharu in some way or another, and I think they were about 8 and 9 years old. I had nicknamed them Misa and Momo because those were the first two names that came too mind. I had taught them how to do the Chika dance and song, and we were working on PSY's Gangnum Style. After that I think we'll move onto Cha-Cha Slide and the Git Up Challenge.

Another thing that happened of interest was that me and Sasuke had come to an...agreement of sorts. It was mainly our mothers forcing us to get along with each other, so we decided we wouldn't start fights between us or our followers anymore, because we didn't want to get in trouble. Of course this also didn't mean that we were going to stop insulting each other or be nice because neither of us wanted to be friends. There were still a few fights, but they weren't really mean spirited anymore, just pre-chosen sides for water balloon fights, freeze tag, and things like that. It was good training for me to strategize and my minions to execute orders effectively to win a couple of them, despite going against older kids. I had a feeling that most of the fights and bullying had stopped because most of Ducky's followers like me now because I had told them how they could see 'fairies'.

Which thanks to Shisui being the awesome person he is all my minions had nearly killed me with hugs and telling me all about the fairies they saw. I had also gotten them to keep their eye open for Shisui. I'm not obsessed. They told me that we was gone on missions a lot, but that him and Itachi had a favorite sweets and tea shop a couple blocks from the compound. I had them show me exactly where it is- I am not a stalker- and what he always got. I think I may have a problem. I mean it sounds creepy that a 26 year old inside an almost 4 year old body getting her minion army to stalk a 14 year old boy, but it wasn't. He was just a sweet, awesome person that needed to be loved and the whole world, or at least all of Konoha should know it. I wonder if it would seem weird for me too adopt him...

Anyway, over the course of those couple of weeks there are 3 things that I am now 100% certain of.

1\. My mother was a sadist, or I possibly made her one. I wasn't a particularly good kid but I don't think I had that much of a negative effect on her.

You'd think that a mother who didn't really focus on her daughter until a couple of weeks ago would pay this much attention to her kid. I guess once she confirmed that I was indeed a prodigy she decided to pay more attention to me? Wow that sounds really messed up, but I wouldn't really blame her for it. Prodigies are a big deal in the Shinobi world and raising one is too. The only weird part is that I hadn't seen my father that much. He was always at work, doing night patrols, or working in his office at our house. My mother never mentioned it, but I could tell she was getting stressed.

2\. I absolutely despise shuriken and genjustu.

Shuriken make no sense to me whatsoever. I hated boomerangs and frisbees in my previous life, due to a camping incident, and a shuriken was basically a weaponized version of them. Why would someone create them? Kunai worked just fine and I loved them. Genjustu, on the other hand, I just could not do not matter how hard I tried. Uchiha or not, I could not manipulate my opponent's chakra and my own and manipulate them together properly. My mother said it was because I had a lot of spiritual chakra and I'm assuming because I was reincartransdimensionified. Genjustu require precision to subtly introduce your chakra into someone else's chakra network to make them see or feel what I want them too. My mother described my attempts as someone trying to forcibly ram their chakra into hers.

3\. Henging was one of the most awesome things ever and I love it so much.

It had taken me several days to get it, but it was amazing. I had practiced it over and over again in the mirror trying to perfect it. I had tried it out on my minions a couple of times, and they didn't know it was me. The only problem with it was that I hadn't figured out how to change my chakra signature. Which meant any shinobi or sensor familiar with my chakra knew it was me. When I asked my mother about changing the way my chakra felt, she said that it was a skill that only the shinobi with the amazing chakra control had the potential of mastering. She said that it was possible for someone of her level to do, but the missions she was one never required it. Sensors were rare and why would you change your chakra signature to kill someone who you didn't even know?

Which brings me to another point. I wasn't a sensor per say, but I could definitely tell the difference between people's chakra and how much of it they had. It was weird to explain, but once I learned what chakra was and how it felt, my mind went 'hey that's new, we didn't feel anything like previously' and suddenly I was constantly aware of it. I remember in my previous life _he_ had done a paper in college on the "Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon" or "frequency illusion" for _his_ physiology class. It was a study on the brain and how once we see or learn a new thing suddenly our brain is hyper-aware of it and is constantly pointing it out everywhere. Of course _he_ got an A on it, I was always teasing _him_ about _his_ unholy ability to do a paper on the interest stuff get good grades.

_TeasinglaughingscreE**AMINGCAN'TBREATHESOCOLDCOLDCOLD-**_

Today was the first day my mother let me have a break since she completely took of my training. Apparently my birthday was tomorrow and we were having a couple people come over. It was kinda weird to think that my birthday was on a completely different day than it was previously and I kept forgetting it. My mother never actually specified who exactly was coming over which raised some warning bells. I just hope that it wasn't my aunts kids, I absolutely refused to call them my cousins and acknowledge that we were related. They hadn't been back since our mothers made us go on a 'playdate' together. My nuclear family was a bit different than my previous. In this one I didn't have any grandparents on my mother's side, only a sister, and I think I only had a grandmother on my father's but they didn't get along. My mother was orphaned with her sister, my witch aunt, when both of their parents died in the 3rd Shinobi War.

Moving on, today I decided I was going to explore Konoha for a bit and see if I can find Ichirauku and buy Icha Icha. Mainly to buy Icha Icha though. This morning I had wrote all that I could remember up to the start of the 4th Shinobi War, and it taken forever. I wanted to buy every book Jiraiya wrote, and one of the minions had given me his copy of 'The Tale of The Utterly Gutsy Shinobi' for telling him how babies are made. I didn't actually tell him about the birds and the bees, I just gave him the stork story, no need to give the parents more of reason to hate me. As I was wandering around the compound searching for the entrance/exit, that I swear kept moving, I saw Ducky by one of the vending stalls. Most clans had some private specialty stores that were only for the clan members and select 'outsiders', most of the time they were mainly weapons shops, but Ducky was by a...jewelry stand?

Huh weird, maybe he was getting his mom something. Oh its not just Ducky, its Ducky accompanied by the Weasel and the Reason Why The Sun Is Shining. I swear I am not a Shisui fangirl, its just that Deidara doesn't live in the same village as me so I have to make do with what I have and Kakashi isn't in the picture. Yet, Kakashi isn't in the picture yet. I'm assuming it'd be a bit weird if an 3 year old Uchiha went to the ANBU headquarters to track down a captain to hug him. Wait, I wonder if Shisui hangs out with him outside of ANBU. Hmm I'll my minions find out who he interacts with aside from Itachi.

Skipping over to where Ducky was I asked "Watcha doin?", and watched in sadistic glee as he jumped 3 feet in the air and almost dropped the necklace in his hand. I was briefly reminded of a show my brother used to watch from previously, but I couldn't remember the character or show. Hopefully Ducky would pick up that I wasn't actually going to pick a fight with him this time. Honestly, I only wanted to start a conversation with him to try and talk to Shisui. Weasel and him were talking about practice or a mission or something and I didn't want to butt in. To my surprise Sasuke turned a red, quickly dropping the necklace back into the tray and crossed his arms.

"What are you doing?" He asked back and puffed out his cheeks.

"Nuh-uh, I asked you first." I put my hand on my hips and eyed him up and dow. "Are you buying jewelry for one of your girlfriends?"

"Girlfriends?" Itachi asked with a blank look, while Sasuke's face was screwed into a look of utter disgust.

"No way, they aren't my girlfriends. We're here because-" Ducky started before Shisui interrupted him.

"We're buying something for Mikoto-neesan !" Shisui picked up some random jewelry and showed it to me. Bingo, right on the mark someone get Hatsuki a prize. I wonder if Mikoto's birthday is around the same time as mine.

"I'm sure your girlfriends will be disappointed that you aren't getting them anything, it's shame really." Take the bait, take the bait.

"They aren't my girlfriends, I don't like girls that way!" Ducky was trying to look intimidating but I was too busy laughing. He took it hook, line, and sinker. "Eh, why are you laughing at me?" Ducky had chosen to return to his default glare.

"Your fangirls will be upset when they find out, but I'm sure they'll support you." I should really be nicer too him, but this was just way too much fun.

"What are you talking about? Are you making fun of me?"

"Alright chibis stop fighting," Shisui interjected putting his hands on top of our heads. Sasuke huffed and shook it off, but I put my hand on top of Shisui's and trapped it there.

Keeping Shisui's hand on top of my head, I looked up at and asked, "Why are you buying stuff for Mikoto-san?"

"Why not?" Shisui replied back easily, completely not bothered by me trapping his hand to my head. Yeah I'm totally adopting him.

"Yeah, why not?" Ducky confirmed, moving towards Itachi. Itachi had been watching us quietly with a amused look in his eyes.

I simply shrugged and asked, "Have you picked anything good out?" I'm sure Mikoto would love whatever they got her, but I remember in my brothers from previously had gotten my other mother this ugly necklace and bracele that matched nothing and she had no idea what to do with it. Judging by the a majority of the selection in this booth, I felt like this was similar situation.

"What do you think of these?" Ducky surprisingly asked me, holding up two...interesting...I don't even know what they were. They appeared to be hair pins, but they were just...hideous doesn't even begin to describe them.

"What the fuck is that?" I asked bluntly, tilting my head a little.

"I don't know what girls like." Ducky's cheeks turned a pink color as he huffed and turned his head to the side. "What do you like?"

"Eh, you're asking me?" Ducky was acting strange.

"Nevermind I'll just pick something myself, I don't know why I asked you." He crossed his arms and completely turned away.

"Hang on Ducky, no need to be so tsundere. I was a bit surprised you asked me was all. I don't really know what your mom likes, and I'm not really a jewelry type of girl, so I wouldn't be of much help."

Ducky scoffed and asked, "What kind of girl doesn't like jewelry?"

"Apparently the kind that can beat your ass." I replied easily, grinning at the glare he gave me. "But," I continued, "I do like that silver bracelet." Picking it up I looked at the price tag on the side and immediately set it back down. Holy fuck that was a lot of money.

"Why?" Ducky questioned, "It doesn't look that pretty or fancy."

"Not everything has to have precious stones or jewels on it to be considered pretty. I like simple things." I defended.

"Fine," he said it like it was such a bother, "We'll get that one. Aniki?"

I proceeded to watch in morbid fascination as Itachi payed the man running the shop a small fortune.

"What's that look for, I thought you said that you liked it?" Ducky questioned accusingly.

"You just spent a small fortune on a bracelet that your mother may or may not like."

"It wasn't that much, the I was going to get cost way more."

Shisui was laughing at my gaping face. "'Tachi is always offering to pay for or buy expensive things for me, the both of them don't really know how money works for us commoners." He explained ruffling my hair.

"It's really not that big of a deal, Shisui. I know you could've used the extra shuriken." Itachi replied back, his eyes shining with amusement.

"That's not the point-" Shisui continued and I zoned him out, giving Ducky a scrutinizing look. He shifted uncomfortably and was looking anywhere but me. As I opened my mouth to interrogate him on his behavior, Shisui asked, "You want to come get yakitori with us, Hatsuki?"

"Hell yeah!" I quickly replied over Ducky's loud groan.

And that was how I spent the rest of my day hanging out with a Weasel, Ducky, and Shisui, who I had ended up adopting as my older brother to show Sasuke that I had a better Aniki than him. After we got yakitori, we just walked around the district running errands that Itachi and Sasuke needed to do for Mikoto. I surprisingly had fun, which I hadn't had a lot of since my new life started. Ducky actually wasn't that half bad once I started to talk normally with him. I'm starting to think that I miss-judged him entirely based off my prejudice for his future self. Hm...

...Dammit I didn't get Icha Icha.

* * *

**Time skip: Date:August 15th : Place:Home : Time:11:00 a.m.**

Thank you kamis, gods, and Jashin-sama! Perhaps you guys really don't hate me for giving up on fixing everything.

My mother told me this morning that my aunt and cousins couldn't make it. I was elated and I think my mother was happy too, I don't think she care for her sister that much either. I was worried too, because she wouldn't tell me who else she invited. We spent the entire morning decorating with origami paper lanterns and animals. It was nice and relaxing to get to do something other than training with her. We had also finished making the food for the party, and were sitting at the table, drinking tea, waiting for the guest to arrive.

_'Thump thump'_

_"_Ah must be some of the guests I invited for the party," my mother said, standing up and stretching. "Go answer the door and greet them."

"Hai Kaa-chan." I walked down the hall and opened the door and had too squish down the urge to close it. "Ducky." I said evenly, internally cursing my mother out.

"I didn't want to be here, Kaa-chan made me." He elaborated with a bored look on his face.

"Sasuke, be nice." Mikoto said, gently pushing him through the door. I guess Itachi and Shisui are on a mission.

"Ah Mikoto-senpai, come in and make yourself at home." My mother said while ignoring the 'WTF' look I was giving her. Mikoto and her walked into the kitchen, leaving me and Ducky in the hallway in akward silence.

"Soooo..." I drawled out looking at the very nice wooden floor. Dammit Hatsuki why are you so awkward now? Oh maybe because I spent the whole afternoon with him yesterday and found out he isn't a emo Dei-killing traitor, just a little brat who loves his brother... Fuck. This. Life. Why can't I just hate him?

"_Hn." _Ducky was just crossing his arms staring at the wall while shuffling his feet awkwardly.

Internal sigh. Gods, kamis, and Jashin-sama you'd better be watching to see how much of a good person I am.

"Come on Tsu-tsun lets go to the living room. My kaa-chan bought me a nice set of cards for my birthday, so we can play with them." I waved him after me. We sat at the coffee table in the living room playing in silence, until Ducky asked-

"How come you haven't asked me about my brother?" I looked up to see that he was giving me a wary look.

"Why would I ask about your brother?"

"You're not one of his fangirls?"

"Hell no, did you think I was?" I was utterly confuzzled now. I don't think I ever gave him or Itachi the impression that I like him.

"Girls only hang out with me because they like me or my brother. Since you don't like me,I figured it was because you like my brother or something." Ducky was looking down at his cards as he continued, "Or maybe because you like Shisui. That's the only reason why you hung out with us yesterday."

"I am not Shisui's fangirl dammit!" I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks, "I spent the day with you guys yesterday because I was bored and thought that it would be interesting. I don't like your brother like that...hm...Why do you think I don't like you?" Dammit why am I doing this?

"I thought it was because you were jealous of me, but that doesn't seem to be it..." Well damn, Ducky might not be a prodigy, but he sure is smart for a kid. I wonder if he is actually really smart, just over shadowed by Itachi.

"I don't like you because I think you're a brat." I told him in a my true blunt fashion. "But," I said before he could interrupt,"I'm a brat too and I admit that I was quick to judge you for no good reason. So I apologize for that. Also I won." I finished with a grin and displayed my cards proudly. I might not be good at poker, but I play a mean game of go fish. As I looked up and snickered as I saw that Ducky had a constipated look on his face.

"You're not trying to trick me?" He was so suspicious for someone so adorable.

Kami what the actual fuck was that thought. You know what Hatsuki, just ignore it.

"Why would I trick you?" I gave him the most bored look I could manage and totally not freaking out that I called this half-pint cute in my head. Not freaking out at all.

"Hn...Fine I accept your apology, but you have to admit that Itachi is smarter than you." He crossed his arms and gave me a triumphant smirk.

"I will as soon as you admit that you're a brat with an inferiority complex." I crossed my arms and smirked right back at him.

"I'm not a brat!"

"Exactly what a brat would say." Damn I kinda feel like Sasori right now.

"Hn. Whatever..."

"Hm."

"I don't have an inferiority complex..."

"I guess that's close enough." I sighed. "Fine, Itachi is smarter than me and for the record I never said he wasn't."

"Awe that's adorable!" I turned to glare at my mother and Mikoto who were peaking in through the kitchen doorway. I have a feeling they listened in to the entire conversation. Now that I'm thinking about it my mother probably had Mikoto come early so that me and Sasuke could interact. That was slightly evil, but I respect it.

'_Thump thump"_

This time I actually tried to feel who's chakra it was, and too my pleasant surprise it was Koharu. I ran to the door, not trying to escape the looks Mikoto and my mother were giving me and Ducky, and let her in. Her father walked in and greeted my mother and Mikoto and together they all went back into the kitchen.

"Come on Yosei, lets go to the living room. We can play go fish with Ducky."

"A-ano Hatsuki-chan, this is for you." She was holding out a package with purple wrapping paper and an orange bow.

"How did you know those were my favorite colors?" I was kinda touched that she remembered these were my favorite.

"You complained about ruining a purple and orange dyed kimono and said they were the best colors..." She shifted nervously still holding out the package.

"Ya know you didn't have to get me anything right?" I asked, taking the package from her hands and shaking it.

"Yeah b-but I wanted too." She stood there awkwardly as I inspected the package.

"Come on then," I pulled her by the hand into the living room and sat her down at the table. She gave a mild '_meep' _at seeing Sasuke, she in denial about finding him cute, and shifted awkwardly as I put the present by the couch.

"Soo..." I began, ignoring Ducky's scoff, and getting a sense of Deja vu.

**(Time Skip: Two hours later)**

My mother had invited Hanzo, Genji, Misa and Momo in addition Yosei and Ducky. They had taken to Ducky graciously and weren't rude to him out all. I am a proud Danna. It was weird, I don't think I ever told my mother who my social circles were, but I guess I shouldn't be too surprised she knew, she was a shinobi after all. And mothers gossiped with eachother. Usually, as a 26 year old, I would be die rather than admit that I actually played and had fun with them, but I didn't care anymore. I can't remember the last time I had this much fun on my birthday, aside from the two with _him_. I think the best part of party was when we played Suikawari and Genji hit Misa and Momo's Dad in the balls. The poor kid thought he hit the watermelon by our laughter and went for a second hit before his mom got to him. Thank gosh we hadn't used an actual katana, like the shinobi version does, or Misa and Momo might stay the only kids.

After we had thoroughly demolished the birthday cake, we decided to move onto presents. I do not like opening presents in front of people. In previously I would take all my birthday presents or Christmas presents off to a corner and open them, before thanking the person for getting it for me. I hated it when people were looking at me for an emotional reaction and I didn't produce the one they wanted. It was worse when they were recording. Unfortunately, I don't think my mother would be understanding seeing as she already brought out a bunch of bagged and wrapped items and proceeded to stack them around me. Thankfully there were only 6 of them, but still, this was going to be like pulling teeth for me.

'_Sigh' _Let's get this over with.

I opened up the first box, which was from my mother and father, and was greeted with an awesome kunai set. It had its own protective case, that could easily be strapped onto shinobi pants.

"Thanks kaa-chan!" I set it aside and went to the next one, it looks like this one it from Misa and Momo.

"Ooh this is one of ours Danna!" They shouted in unison as I unwrapped the package. I was suddenly met with an idea to dress them alike and say 'red rum'. It wouldn't have the same affect in Japanese though, which was sad.

"Thanks I needed some new notebooks." I thanked them, inspecting them carefully. They were each different, the first looked to be a painted sunset, the second was my favorite, with it being a water-colored pond with purple lotus on the cover, and the last one simply had an Uchiha fan on the cover. I was glad that they got me something practical, instead of something girly. Actually I was kind of glad all my minions treated me like an older person, and not a little kid. I moved onto the next present, which was a bag, that had some nice calligraphy bamboo brushes.

Holy shit. I could totally try and use these for Fuinjustu. It might be a bad idea to try Fuinjustu in a clan where it was non-existent, but screw it. I was in the Naruto-verse, and I'm going to try Fuinjustu. I might get myself killed, but eh I was going to die anyway.

I moved onto an interesting shaped package from Hanzo and Genki, noticing that it was extremely heavy. After opening it up, I came face to face with a bunch of different history and fictional books.

"You said that you liked reading, and after you got that book from Rin you spent all day reading it-" Began Genji excitedly before Hanzo interrupted.

"So we thought that you would like some books to read, there's also some other stuff in there too." Hanzo gave me a sly smile and I checked between the books. There, in between a '_The History of the Founding of Konoha' _and '_Princess Gale:Short Stories", _was a '_101 Pranks and Tips' _in all of its glory. Score! I could totally use these.

"Thanks Hanzo and Genji!" I gave them a foxy qrin, ignoring the weird look their mom was giving me. I still didn't know their actual ages.

"You're welcome Danna!"

The next item was a small bag with a card and small box inside. I took out the small box first, and after I opened it, I came face to face with a familiar silver bracelet.

Hatsuki...does not know how to respond to this.

"'_Hn.._You said you liked it.." Ducky was shifting around obviously trying not to look embarrassed. Mikoto and my mother were grinning like mad-women off to the side.

"I do like it. Thank you Sasuke." Boy those words kinda felt weird coming out of my mouth. I put the bracelet on and pulled out the card, immediately laughing at it. It was a gift certificate to the same cafe that Itachi and Weasel were always going to. They probably noticed me and my minions observing them. "Tell your brother I said thank you too." I would tell Shisui myself, after all he was my 'Aniki' now.

The last gift, of course, was from Koharu. I carefully opened, noting that all the other kids, except for Koharu, had learned forward with anticipation. Koharu just twitched nervously and fumbled with her hands.

I blinked at the contents.

HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS 6 YEAR OLD KID KNOW ME SO DAMN WELL?!

"Thank you Koharu!" I practically shouted and I attacked her with hugs, while holding my new favorite plushie. It was a red panda, one like I had gotten previously from _him_. There were also different candies, but that didn't matter because I had a red panda plushie mother fuckers!

"Y-you're welcome" She stuttered and hugged me back.

I leaned back and held it up high,"I shall name her Alita, and she shall be worshiped!" I pronounced. My minions nodded solemnly, for I had already introduced them to the rest of the High Council of Jashin-sama, but Ducky just scoffed. Heathen Ducky.

We spent the rest of the party messing around while the adult talked, until they had to go home. My father got home just in to say goodbye to Mikoto and Ducky, who were the last to leave, and help us clean. My father said that he would teach me a clan justu as a birthday present the next time he got off.

After I rearranged my plushies in my bed, with the new head being Alita instead of Mandi, I got into to bed utterly exhausted.

'_Yeah_' I thought, drifting off,'_This is probably one of the best birthdays I've had_'.

* * *

**Time Skip: Date:August 29 : Time: 7:00 : Place: Konoha Shinobi Academy**

I am never going to be a morning person. Not in my previous life, not in this one, and probably not in my next. After I halfheartedly listened to Sarutobi spout out the _'Will of Fire' _speech I spent the entire Academy class taking a nap next to Hinata. The shy girl was completely confuzzled when I sat next to her and struck up a conversation before class started. Apparently she thought that'd I forget about her and be friends with someone else.

Silly girl.

I didn't recognize the teacher that we had, he wasn't Iruka or the Nara from the entrance exams. He didn't look to be from a clan, and didn't even bother to check on the fact that I was sleeping. Lessons were boring, they were still going over basic skills and not actually teaching anything. Well I guess they couldn't really teach me anything. I suppose the history classes and would be cool for me, but everything else I pretty much already knew. It was nice now that we were outside chatting away outside for lunch brake. I had left Hinata by herself for a few minutes to go throw away my trash when I heard a commotion. And by commotion I meant Naruto's loud ass voice screaming-

"Leave her alone dattebayo!"

I was back in the lunch area in a flash, trying to ignore the heavy feeling in my stomach. I watched as Naruto stepped in front of Hinata, who was on the ground, and pushed a boy away from her. This better not be what I think-

"Who do you think you are?" The kid punched Naruto in his stomach. Naruto gave out a strangled yelp and fell to the ground in a pile.

As he went to kicky Naruto my body moved before my mind could react. The kid that punched Naruto was laying sprawled out on the ground several feet away while other two boys were looking at me in horror. Jashin dammit, why did I do that? Protecting Naruto is like painting a big red target on my back for literally everyone.

As the kid tried to pick himself up I noticed that his eye was already swelling shut. Maybe I shouldn't have channeled that much chakra into my punch.

"What's going on out here?"

Now our teacher decides to show his face.

"The Uchiha girl, Hinata, and Naruto were bullying us!" One of the other boys lied.

I _know_ he did not just refer to me as 'the Uchiha girl'. Had it not been for the fact that Hinata and Naruto were still on the ground I would have pummeled that little shit. I helped Hinata up and walked over to Naruto, who seemed confused that I was helping him up. Kami what have I gotten myself into.

"Hatsuki and Hinata I want both of you to stay after and Naruto go to detention right now!"

EXCUSE ME WHAT THE FUCK?!

"But-" Naruto started before the teacher interrupted him.

"No buts, detention. Now." I was about to go off on the teacher but Ducky beat me to the punch.

"Sensei, they're lying. The three boys started bullying Hinata and Naruto tried to stop them. They started to beat up Naruto and then Hatsuki stepped in and stopped them." Ducky piped up and said. A few of the other kids piped up in agreement, although it was mainly the fangirls.

"No he's lying!" yelled the kid with the black and purple eye from the ground.

Then all of the kids proceeded to yell at once about what did or didn't happen. Our teacher, who liked he just wanted an excuse to get Naruto out of the classroom, just decided to put all of us that had a part in the cause of the chaos into detention.

So that's why I was sitting in front of the principal next to Naruto and Hinata, with my mother, Hiashi, and the freaking Sandaime standing behind us, after the first day of school.

Fuck. My. Life.

* * *

**Dun dun dun!**

**I'm going to round and say that this chapter (excluding the AN) is about 5.5k words. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, I should really be doing a book report right now, but fuck it. Surprisingly a lot of fluff, I have no idea what happened with this chapter it just came out. Hopefully it wasn't too cheesy. Also**** I'm really bad with Japanese names that don't sound stupid so I have Hatsuki give the minions nicknames from different anime I have seen. And cause I'm lazy. Its why Hatsuki's mother is Rukia and her father's is Matsuda, and the Nara's from the last chapter is Ryuzaki.**

**Fuck I just found out that Koharu is the name of the bitch on the council with the other guy and Danzou. Fuck, I did not mean for that to happen. Kishimoto why you have so many characters?! **

**Question: What's your favorite fair food? Mine is funnel cake, I can't handle deep fried oreos or candy bars. That's gross.**

**Next chapter (maybe):**

_"Perhaps if both of our clans got the sticks out of our respective asses, the civilians wouldn't hate our clans so much."_

_I know those words did not just come out of my mouth..._

**_ XxXxXxXxXxXxxXxXx_**

_"If you're Naruto's legal caretaker why do the villagers treat him like shit?" _

_Damn I was on a roll today._

**_XxXxXxxXXxXxXxXxXx_**

_I know I totally deserve this, but it doesn't make it any less pleasant. I was exhausted and scared shitless and exhausted. But still I ran through the forest like my life depended on it. Because it probably did._

**Reviews are love!**

**~Miley**


	6. Perpetua

**Hello mortals and thanks to all the people who fave and follow! Hope ya like the new chapter!**

**Yasumin: ****I nearly flipped my shit w****hen I read that you wrote about how you could see Hatsuki trolling the ANBU. I was in the middle of writing a scene in a few chapters that's along those lines XD All I can say is Kakashi and Yamato have no idea what to do and Shisui is just exasperated*insert evil grin* ****And it will be glorious! ****Hatsuki pairing with someone won't happen for a while, but a bit Sasuke and Hatsuki fluff is on the way. And to be honest, I kinda ship it too after writing that last chapter. In my question I meant food specifically from fairs,carnivals, or festivals. There were several in my area over the past couple of weeks, and I ate funnel cake at pretty much every one that I went to. Sorry if I wasn't clear. And thank you so much for your reviews, they inspire me to write and get chapters out faster. Monday night I was really tired, but after reading your review I got onto the computer and typed up 1k words.**

**BlueMoonWolf96: Glad someone out there agrees with me! Thank you for your review!**

"Courage, is saying what needs to be said despite how difficult or uncomfortable it is, because someone needs to hear it." -Unknown

* * *

**Time: I don't even know anymore : Place: Principal's office**

I was not impressed with our principal. He was a stuttering mess of a Jonin. Although, to be fair, that could be because the Hokage and a clan head were right in front of him, but he should still act more professionally. It had taken forever and a half for Hiashi and Hiruzen to get here, while my mom had arrived around 45 minutes ago and sorted everything out for him. My mother had demanded to know everything that happened and basically forced the principal and the teacher to apologize to me, Hinata, and Naruto and sent the little shits that caused this mess to detention. Unfortunately Hiashi and Hiruzen had already been notified, so we still had to wait until they got here and our principal explained everything to them. It was a bit redundant, but at least I didn't have to sit in that boring classroom.

"So it seems like the kids were lying about being bullied. I am extremely sorry for wasting your time Hokage-sama, Hyuuga-sama, and Uchiha-san. I would also like to apologize for the kids bullying Hinata-chan, Hyuuga-sama. It will not happen again." Principal Already-forgot-his-name said, summoning up what could have been taken care of almost an hour ago.

And I can personally guarantee it will most certainly will not fucking happen again. By the time me and my minions were done with them, they will rue the day they were born. I'm think about bringing out the big gun, glitter and all.

...maybe revenge craze is an Uchiha trait...

"Uchiha-san and Hyuuga-sama you may leave now. Hokage-sama I would like to have a word. Alone." He gave Naruto this offhand look that I did not like. Poor Naruto looked so dejected in his seat. All of us, sans Hokage, left the room quietly. Naruto just stood off to the side giving me curious glances, while Hinata and Hiashi spoke quietly. My mother looked so exasperated with life I felt like I should let her off the hook and just let her go home in peace.

"Kaa-chan, can I walk home? I still have to get my books that are in the classroom and I want to say bye to some of my classmates."

"That's fine Hatsuki, but don't stay out too late." My mother sighed and walked down the hall. Good, this was going to be easier to do without my mother, she might have a sense of pride and try to stop me. Even though she was respectful in the office, she was glaring at Hiashi offhandedly. All I was going to do was apologize, but I had a feeling that I was going to end up insulting the Hyuuga clan head. I didn't particularly care for Hiashi, I mean his reasoning to protect Hinata was just a bunch of bullshit. But if I did want to go over to the Hyuuga compound and see Hanabi and train with Hinata, I would need to be on his good side.

Turning to face Hinata and her father, who were talking quietly, I bowed while saying "Gomen, Hina-chan. I'm sorry you got in trouble for something I did." Hinata turned of red, but before she could say anything her father interjected-

"Perhaps it would be wise to refrain from associating yourself with troublemakers Hinata." Well

Oh he didn't know the half of it. Or maybe he did? I don't know, did everyone else know about the tie dye fiasco from a few weeks ago. That could actually explain why the Uchiha parents still hadn't gotten over it. And what was it and the Hyuuga and the Uchiha hating each other?

I looked him dead in the eye and responded,"With all do respect Hiashi-sama, I interjected on your daughters behalf. And I don't purposefully look for trouble, it seems to find me."

"My daughter did not need you to interject on her behalf Uchiha. Perhaps you should not jump to such conclusions." He sneered down at me.

"Yet you were jumped to the conclusion that I was a trouble maker, Hyuuga-san." I blinked innocently at him. Hinata was frantically shaking her head back and forth between the two of us.

Hiashi gave me a glare, and spoke coldly, "You Uchiha should learn to mind your own business, and then perhaps maybe your clan wouldn't be so looked down upon." He's probably talking about the military police, it is obvious that they aren't popular among civvies. Besides he knows he's talking to a child right? I mean I wasn't actually a child, and I am not one to get into a pissing match with Hyuuga. I was a stubborn bitch even before I got whazammed into an Uchiha.

"Perhaps, but I think that if both our clans removed the sticks out of our respective asses we both would be looked upon more favorably. After all, it was _your_ daughter being bullied because of the status in _her_ clan. After I defended her they stopped, so tell me Hiashi, whose clan was being looked down upon this situation?"

I did not just say that.

Judging by the shocked look on Hiashi's face I'm assuming I did.

Shit. I just called the Hyuuga clan head by with first name with no honorifics.

Kamis or whoever the hell is up there must have been in a good mood because fortunately, I was saved by the Hokage.

"Perhaps that would help, but there is more to it than that, Uchiha-ojou-san." As I turned Hiruzen, I saw an amused smile and twinkling in eye, covering the analyzing look he was giving me.

Well shit Hatsuki, if one of the ANBU that's following Naruto or the Hiruzen right know is working for ROOT and tells Danzo about this, it would make this situation even better.

Fuck you brain.

You know what, just keep talking to distract everyone from what you just said.

"I know there is Hokage-sama, but I don't see how getting the sticks out of our asses wouldn't help. I know both of our clans have a reputation for looking down on each other for no reason, other than unjustified prejudice."

"Hokage-sama I must take your leave," Hiashi bowed, before turning to give me one last glare. "Come, Hinata-chan, we must gather your things before we head back to the compound."

"B-bye Hatsuki-chan..." Hinata murmured nervously, walking with her father down the hall.

"See ya." I said softly after them. Dammit, I was never going to get to hang out with her outside of the Academy. Stupid stupid stupid stu-

"Ojou-san, despite you being a child, you should know to show more respect to your elders and those of a higher status than you," Hiruzen admonished.

"I know, I know Oji-san. But unfortunately I seem to be bad at controlling what comes out my mouth."

"Ji-Ji!" Naruto cut in before he could respond,"Can we go get Ichiraku? Please, please, please 'ttebayo!" Honestly, I'm surprised he's been quite this long.

"That's fine Naruto, you did a good job today standing up for your classmate."

Hokage's attention is successfully diverted, now to escape because staying was a mistake.

"H-hey, you want to come with us?" Naruto's voice stopped me as I turned around. I turned around to see Hiruzen behind him, smiling a warm smile I didn't trust, and Naruto fidgeting in from of him looking down nervously.

Shit.

If I say yes, then Hiruzen is going to interrogate me, but if I say no, Naruto will be crushed. Previously, I didn't give a damn about hurting someones feelings, especially if they're a kid. Life is full of disappointment, and its better to learn that when your young than be taken by surprise. But, I have to admit, my minions have grown on me and I don't mind kids at all. Not to mention,Naruto was of course was one of my favorite character of the series and fandom. I didn't like how sad and shitty his backstory is, but I loved how even despite that, he still stays loyal to those who he believed in. I mean, Naruto was a genuinely good person, despite how his whole life was shit until he saved the village and then everybody suddenly like him. I thinks that why Sasuke gets a lot of hate from people, me included. Sasuke was a real human being, and all of his revenge and hatred was fully justified. Except for killing Deidara and Itachi of course. I hated him because I knew I would do exactly the same thing if I was in his place. Naruto's character is what the ideal person strives to be, Sasuke is the sad reality of most. I know I should really say no, but I honestly don't think I could deal with a sad, crushed Naruto.

Dammit, why did I let myself get so soft?!

Sighing mentally, I prepared myself for what was to come, "Sure," I shrugged. The smile that lit up his face made it all a little bit easier.

* * *

**Place:Ichiraku Ramen Stall**

I was getting stared at, and I honestly couldn't blame the people who were.

Here I was, with the Uchiha symbol proudly displayed on my back, sitting next to the Sandaime, who was sitting next to the village pariah, eating ramen freaking noodles in the middle of Konoha.

Side note; miso soup with eggplant is the bomb. Like I could eat this for the rest of my life and die happy.

"So, Hatsuki-chan, how are you enjoying school so far." Of course the Hokage knows my name, but I wonder why he didn't use it earlier.

"It's nice, but I like spending time with Hina-chan more." Short, simple answers that reveal as little as possible.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't completely nervous and slightly terrified. And I had a good reason to be. Wise people scared the shit out of me in this world. I could get away acting like an adult in front of my minions because they didn't know any better. I could act more mature around Itachi and Shisui because they assumed I was a prodigy like them. I could act however I wanted to around my parents because they honestly don't know what to expect from me anymore, plus they also think I'm a prodigy.

However, someone like Hiruzen makes me nervous. He knows how prodigies act, I mean he met and knew Minato and Kakashi personally, and not to mention he was the team sensei for the Sannin. If I'm not careful he will definitely be able to tell I'm not a prodigy, just a child who is suspiciously mature for her age.

"Hinata is super nice 'bayo!" Naruto added between bites. The kids had a stomach, he was already on his 4th bowl.

We had been here for 5 minutes.

"Yeah she is, maybe you could hang out with us sometime." I did not suggest that because I wanted him to meet Hinata formally and have a crush on her before they graduated from the Academy. Well not completely, I did want Naruto to have at least some friends before he went off on his crazy life adventure. And I was going to be dead in two years, then Ducky would become angsty, and nobody else was really interested.

"YEAH THAT WOULD BE AWESOME DATTEBAYO!...What's your name again?"

I think I just sweatdropped.

"My name is Hatsuki Uchiha 'ttebayo." I couldn't resist adding Naruto's famous verbal tic at the end.

"Cool! My name is NARUTO UZUMAKI AND I'M GOING TO BE THE NEXT HOKAGE DATTEBAYO!" He even stood up and pointed at me.

Not quite the next one kiddo, but you'll be wearing the hat before you know it.

"Hey don't laugh at me 'ttebayo! I will become the hokage one day I swear!"

"I know, and I believe you. I was laughing at your enthusiasm."

"Do you want to become the hokage one day Hatsuki?" Hiruzen was looking directly at me.

I turned my attention directly to my ramen and replied,"Nope, seems like too much work. Besides, I don't think an Uchiha is very likely to wear the hat, 'sides I want to be a tokubestu jonin when I become a shinobi."

"Yes, being the Hokage is quite a lot of work. If you became a tokubetsu jonin what do you want to specialize in?"

"Hmmm...Kinjustu or fuinjustu would be cool, but I think I might be a tokubestu in Taijustu, I think Taijustu is fun." Taijustu is a lot of fun, its like dancing, but I'm actually good at it.

"Fuinjustu?"

Today was a day of fuckups for me.

"Yeah, my kaa-chan mentioned it and it sounds really cool. Why do you want to become the hokage Naruto?" I lied easily, and flipped the conversation to Naruto.

"Because then the villagers will have to acknowledge me 'ttebayo!" Damn, Hiruzen has manipulated him better than Danzo could ever manipulate his ROOT agents.

"I guess that's a good reason, how do you know the Hokage so well?" My mind was telling me do it and don't do it at the same time.

"Ji-ji takes care of me 'ttebayo!" He exclaimed cheerfully and went back to eating his pork ramen.

"Yes, I am Naruto's legal caretaker." Hiruzen supplied with a smile.

Don't say it, don't say it, don't sa-

"So then why do the villagers treat Naruto like shit?"

Damn, I was on a roll today. But in my defense I had always wanted to know why the actual fuck Hiruzen let the Fourth's legacy, Konoha's only jinchuriki, and one of the only Uzumaki left on the face of this planet, get treated so badly.

"Despite being the Hokage, I can't stop the way the villagers choose to treat someone."

"But its more than that, its not just like they decided to randomly single him out. He is purposefully being targeted and every adult knows why, and the civilians tell their kids to treat him badly. The Shinobi don't treat him badly, and they obviously know, but they don't go out of their way to be nice. So the civilian adults know something that the kids don't, and the shinobi know that and something more, while the kids know nothing. Coincidentally, Naruto's birthday on October 10th, the same day-"

"You are pretty bright for a child Hatsuki." Hiruzen interrupted and was giving me an scrutinizing look.

Suddenly, I realized how pissed I was at him. At Jiraiya too. They let this boy be treated like shit and abused because they were cowards.

"What does that have to do with anything? I want to know why the village I'm apparently sworn to protect and be loyal to, has such shallow and corrupt leadership that an orphan boy who is 6 years old, is openly being attacked and discriminated, and his legal guardian, the fucking Hokage, isn't doing anything to stop it." I snapped my wooden chopsticks in my rage.

Hiruzen sighed, "Sometimes the most difficult choices to understand are the most necessary ones to make."

"Hey Hokage-sama, do you want another bowl?" Teuchi came from around the back, followed by Ayame, before I could call bullshit.

"Awe Hatsuki-chan, what happened? I'll get you another pair of chopstick." Ayame had a habit of babytalking me.

"No thanks Ayame, I'm done." Dammit, I was so mad I couldn't even finish eating ramen anymore.

"WHAT HOW DARE YOU NOT FINISH YOUR RAMEN!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU DATTEBAYO!" Naruto screamed at me.

"Do you want mine?"

"YES 'BAYO!" His eyes lit up in glee as I slid the bowl across the counter to him, avoiding eye contact with the Hiruzen.

"See you tomorrow Naruto! Goodbye Hokage-sama." I ducked under the tent and sprinted off before the Hokage could stop me.

I was so ready for today to be over.

* * *

**Place: Uchiha Compound**

As I walked through the compound I kept kicking random rocks, cursing my stupidity.

"Oi, Hastuki, how'd it go?"

I looked over to see Ducky, surrounded by a few boys, walking the opposite way.

"I insulted the Hyuuga clan head, but the other boys got in trouble. I also ate ramen with the Hokage, so I'd call it a win. What's up with you?" I shrugged and then laughed at the boys faces.

"You-you met the Hokage?" One of the boys on the left asked in a disbelieving voice.

"Yep-yep" I turned back to walk down the road but Ducky stopped me.

"Hatsuki, come here real quick. I want to show you something. Sho and Kai, you two go ahead, I'll meet you there.

My mind proceeded to show me images of an adult Sasuke showing me 'something'.

I made a strange coughing sound as I choked on my spit.

"Imouto you have a dirty mind for a 4 year old." my favorite Uchiha said from behind me, while giving me a heat pat.

"The best most awesomest Aniki!" I turned and properly tackled Shisui into a hug. As I buried my face into his chest, I breathed in the smell of pine trees and whatever laundry detergent he used. I don't think I ever realized how awesome hugs are before I met Shisui.

"Hn. No Itachi's the best." Ducky defended admirably. But he was sadly wrong, I don't think anyone is better Shisui. I didn't have an older sibling previously, and I had no idea what I was missing out on. Sasuke was one lucky bastard he actually had a older biological sibling. Having Shisui as a not-so-legally-adopted-but-still-is older brother was awesome, but a small part of me still wishes he was my actual sibling.

"So what did you want to show Hatsuki?" Itachi asked somewhere from my left. I couldn't actually see him, I still had my face buried in Shisui's chest. He had wrapped his arms around me a was hugging me too. I think I know why I'm so attached to Shisui. He took my craziness in stride and didn't question my maturity level at all.

"I wanted to show her that I can do the fireball justu way better than her, like you taught me Aniki." Ducky spike the last part to smugly for my liking.

"Oi Aniki, teach me a justu." I looked up at Shisui and gave him a serious look.

"Okay, can't have Itachi outdoing me can we?" He laughed and smiled easily,before giving me another head pat. I think head pats are his equivalent of Itachi's forehead poke, and I'm not complaining.

"Come on Hatsuki, lets go to the training ground real quick, I'll show you that I can't do it better." Ducky demanded.

"Sorry Ducky, not today, I've gotta get back home. Maybe tomorrow? Oh you can show me during lunch break at the Academy." I relished in the few last second of Shisui's hug, before pulling away. I actually thought I saw Ducky pout for half a second before it it disappeared.

"Tch. Fine, I'll see you tomorrow." Ducky sulked and turned to Itachi, asking him to train him.

"Bye Aniki!" I smiled and gave Shisui one last hug before running back towards my house. I was going to be so late.

"Later Imouto!" Shisui called after me.

* * *

**Time: Too Late : Place:Hell**

Sooo...my mother was not happy that I did not get home right away. I told her I went out for ramen, and she stood in the same position for like ten minutes unmoving. I don't think she even blinked once. When she finally snapped out of it, she seemed a little...off? She was acting strange, but I guess having the Hokage eat ramen with a prodigy child a clan that wasn't on exact friendly terms with the rest of the village was a big deal. Sadly, to work off said nerves she decided that we were going to have a serious training session. Like, deadly serious.

Sadly I didn't understand that my life was in danger until after we had started. I should have known something was up when she said we were training in the woods today.

Where there are no coincidentally witnesses.

"Kaa-chan don't kill me!" I screamed hysterically, not joking at all. She had been chasing me for the past hour, randomly popping up with spike of killing intent. She had also recently started throwing kunai, and that last Katon had actually burned my leg.

"Alerting the enemy of your position is a quick way to be killed, Hatsuki." Suddenly her voice was right next to my ear and the killing intent pressure was so strong it was suffocating me.

_SUFFOCATINGITWASSUFFOCATINGMEANDICOU**LDN'TESCAPECOULDN'TESCAPESOMEONEPLEASEPLEASEHELPME**-_

"HATSUKI CALM DOWN!" My mother was in front of me, but I could barely see her through the tears that I didn't know had started falling, and when did she look clear and why can't I seem to breathe-

"HATSUKI!" My mother slapped me in the face, coincidentally knocking the tears out of my eyes. I stood there, still in shock, staring at the...smile on her face?

Jeez, my mother is a closet sadist with a crying fetish. Kami, what has this life come too?

She hugged me and picked me up, twirling me around laughing.

I saw the world in perfect definition as she twirled me around, still reeling in shock from the slap and her personality flip.

"W-what?" I was getting dizzy, and a slight headache from all the twirling. My eyes shot to the side as I noticed a stray leaf fall from my hair. Huh, that's a pretty green color.

"YOU JUST UNLOCKED YOUR SHARINGAN!" She was laughing and hugging me jumping up and down. Wow, she's never this affectionate-

Well shit.

* * *

It wasn't that I wasn't happy to unlock one of, if not the, coolest kekkai genkai and doujustu in naruto. I was, it was that I planned on keeping it a secret if I did. Yes, I wanted to be a prodigy to hang out with the Rookie 9 before my death, but I didn't want to be seen as the next Itachi of the Uchiha clan.

Guess you can't have it both ways.

We spent the rest of the day training my sharingan, until I was borderline chakra exhausted and my eyes were stinging. Even though my mother was ecstatic that I unlocked my sharingan, she returned back to her weird, stressed way of acting. She went around the house tidying everything and then going into my fathers office, before going into the kitchen to make dinner. I crashed on the living room floor, finding it hard to move my body. My mother was still making dinner when the door opened, my father entering and taking off his shoes. I'm pretty sure I freaked him out when I ran up to him, still covered in twigs and leaves, and practically pounced on him.

"Oh, Hatsu-chan? What's wrong?"

"Kaa-chan, she's gone crazy! She tried to kill me in the forest! And I think she might be mad at you!" I frantically told and warned him before she appeared.

She came around the coner and spoke in a relatively monotone voice, "Dinners ready, come and eat." I watched with wide eyes as she just went into the kitchen and then looked to my father. He was a curious pale shade and I'm pretty sure his pupils were dilated. We quietly made our ways to the kitchen.

Me and my father were tense throughout the entire meal, while my mother was calm and distant.

My mother never acted like this, and if something was seriously wrong it was my fathers responsibility, not mine.

"So Hatsuki unlocked her sharingan today." My mother stated matter of factly.

My fathers face turned to one of relief as he sighed, "That's good, I'll see if I can get a few days off to train her."

"No you will not." My mother said icily, "You haven't bothered to help me train her at all, you will not be helping now."

"Gochiso sama deshita!" I said frantically and left the room quickly. Forgoeing a bath, I just ran down the hall, and into my bed, begging for sleep to take me.

Let the physical adults handle this, I'm done.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter! I'm going to be volunteering at a festival this Saturday, so the next chapter will be up Sunday or Monday.**

**The profile picture might change randomly. Also, it's supposed to be Koharu, not Hatsuki. I don't think I've ever described Hatsuki, and I don't plan on it until a few chapters into the future. **

**Another thing I want to explain is the partial breakdowns Hatsuki has and ignores. Hatsuki refuses to acknowledge them, because she doesn't want to admit how much her past life and dying has affected her. This is not healthy for her and it will cause some negative effects in the future. **

**Question: Who's your favorite youtuber and how long have you been watching them? Mine is probably Lost Pause, I've been watching him since 2015.**

**Next Chapter:**

_"How troublesome..." drawled Shikamaru, plopping down next to me, probably to take a nap._

_"It's not that troublesome."_

_"Hmph." Shikamaru made a noise of disagreement._

_**XxXXxxXxxXlinelinelineXxxxxXxx**_

_Sweet mother Teresa on the hood of a Mercedes-Benz..._

_I just did a shadow clone!_

_**XxXXxxxxXxxLinelinelineXxxxxx**_

_"No," I stared down Fugaku, matching his gaze evenly "No I do not."_

**~Miley**


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